Knox County GSA Activities Blog

Some concluding thoughts

2009-08-04T22:27:00.004-04:00

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to read about our experiences at the Knox County Fair. I am still reflecting on our experiences, but I am certain that our presence at the fair was an important outreach and educational endeavor. Even for those who did not choose to talk with us, just making ourselves visible in the community makes a statement. I am still overjoyed by the number of positive responses we received and by the support of the many volunteers who made this happen.

I am still sorting through all of our materials, but I can happily report that we collected:
--nineteen new email addresses and/or phone numbers for our mailing list
--$36.51, which will be split with the Delaware Gay-Straight Christian Alliance

We had plenty of literature available to passers by, and over 50 GSA pamphlets were taken. Of all of the rest of our literature, the "What the Bible Says (and Doesn't Say) about Homosexuality" booklets published by Soulforce, were the most popular.

So I'll end on a happy note. I am proud of our organization and glad to know that our hard work is making a difference. It may take some time, but I believe that in the end, we shall see justice.

Day 7 - Saturday, August 1st (last day!)

2009-08-01T21:41:00.003-04:00

1:41pm A lady stops by "What is the gay straight Christian alliance all about?" Tony explains. Lady: "Ok, well I just wanted to check." Tony then said, "We believe that God loves all people."
Lady: "That's right."
She continued to talk about how it's no big deal for her. She mentioned that she is a marketing person for a gutter company and asked about the Columbus Pride parade and festival. She explained that her company is thinking about having a booth there.

3:32pm A gentleman stopped by to tell is to continue the good work.

3:34pm Man walked by and put his arms up in the air and said "My people - they're here!" He was very positive.

4:25pm Two kids (about 8 or 9) asked about our booth. When Tony explained that we were straight and gay people who wanted to stop gay people from being hurt one of them said, "Oh, like racism." The other asked if we were all gay and Tony explained that some of us are and some of us aren't. He asked Tony if he and Larry were together and when he said no, one was straight and the other gay the little boy said/asked, "But you're friends?" They said "yes" and he took some literature and then said, "Ok, I'll go try and figure this out."

4:45pm A female college student stopped by to give positive reinforcement and take some information.

4:55pm Two families stopped by and got information and asked questions. The were very approving of what we are doing.

5:00pm Thom Collier (former State Rep for our district) waved as he walked past.

5:15pm A woman involved in HRC who knew Tony stopped by to chat for a while.

6:30pm Two young men walked by the booth and said "Knox County Gay Straight Alliance" disapprovingly. Then one of them shouted, "Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks."

Things slowed down dramatically after this. We had a few people stop by to say hello and take some literature (all friendly and positive). At 7:30pm we decided to pack up, talking down decorations and signs and putting away all the literature. Brett D. helped out, which was nice. He was a big help carrying things to the hill where we loaded them into the car. I hope to see him at some events this year.

Overall I think it was another successful year at the fair. I'll have to do some reflecting and write a final post later. Right now, I'm ready for bed!

Day 6 at the Fair - Friday, July 31, 2009

2009-08-01T20:53:00.003-04:00

I worked the evening shift once again - this time starting a little later so I could walk the dog between work and the fair (since Victoria is out of town). It was just Larry and I holding down the evening shift, and I could just sense that something was going to happen. But, before I get to that, let me fill you in on what took place earlier in the day.

3:00pm A young lady stops by just to chat. She seems to be a very happy and loving person.

3:15pm A lady comes by hurriedly and requests as much information as possible. The more she spoke the more we realized we didn't have the type of information she desired. She explained that she is the leader of a battered ladies group and that one lady there is a "dyke" and the woman at our booth is afraid of her (the "dyke").

3:20pm A young boy decides to donate a dollar to us.

4:00pm A group of young boys shout out "fags" but still stop to take some of our candy.

6:21pm Two young girls stop by and donate $3.00. "It shouldn't matter what gender you are or what gender you love," they explain.

6:47pm Jeanne, the one person who has commented on the blog so far, stopped by to say hello and to show her support. She mentioned that she really liked our "God" signs (some of the signs that Larry made to decorate the booth have a religious theme).

7:14pm Dylan S. stops by to say "hi" and ask how things are going. Again, it's great to be visited by friends.

8:00pm A lady walked by, stopped and just said "Are you guys for it or against it?"
Larry responded, "For it" and she just continued on her way.

8:15pm Larry was at the booth by himself while I stepped away to go to the bathroom and take a walk. He said some boys came up to the booth and started shouting "faggots" at him. Then, a few of the boys ran around to the back of the tent and started banging on the walls of it.

Ok, so now comes the busy part of the evening, which is ironic, because it all took place just as the big concert was getting started. Larry and I were both pretty well engaged from this point on, so I don't have thorough notes of the interation, but I'll explain what happened from my perspective.

8:31pm Two boys walk up to the booth, one 18, the other probably the same age, to ask us about our faith and how we could be both gay and christian. During the course of the conversation we learned that the boys are from the Presbyterian church in town. In the conversation, which I tried to stay out of since I am not a religious person, they started fired question after question to Larry about his beliefs.
Boys: "Don't you believe that this bible is the word of God?"
Larry: "As written by man, yes."
Boys: "If it is the word of God, then it is perfect and everything in here is true. You have to believe what's in here is true."
Larry: "Well, it was written by people, and I don't believe that all of it is true. It's not like God has a stenographer with him who actually wrote down what God said."
Boys: "Actually he did. It was written by men who were told what to write by the holy spirit." The conversation continued like this for a few minutes, touching on some things such as evolution. When Larry asked why there are no mentions of dinosaurs in the bible the boys correct him and point out that Job saw a dinosaur. Larry asked, "Don't you believe that the earth is billions of years old?" And the boys replied, "No. God created the world around 6,000 years ago." It was interesting to watch these boys work. One, the tall boy, was louder and more persistent, but not the brightest. He kept mixing up his scripture: "they do mention gays in the New Testament...it's right there in Peter," and "Jesus said there were two rules. Love your neighbor like yourself...and...and...I forget the other one." However, he was very confident in himself and his arguments, no matter how convoluted. "I'm destroying you guys right now!" he exclaimed. When I pointed out that it isn't very loving to "destroy" someone he quickly retorted, "Oh no, I love you. I just am destroying all your arguments." The other boy seemed to be quite smart and articulate. It was clear this was a game for them - like a debate, something to be won or lost. The had a response to everything, and showed little interest in listening to what Larry had to say. They didn't say hateful things, and they didn't bash us or make fun of us or anything, but they were very animated, raised their voices and were very keen to tell us, nay prove to us, we were wrong.

After the whole dinosaur discussion, I turned my attention elsewhere. A small group of teens has assembled, some by the boys talking to Larry (their friends) and then another small group off to the side. "Let me know if you have any questions, and feel free to help yourself to any of the literature," I said to them. "Oh no thanks," they replied, "we're just listening." Turns out this group contained Mount Vernon High School students (and one recent graduate) who belonged to the Covenant Christian church in town. They asked if we've gotten a lot of reactions like we were getting from the two boys. "Last year people were more mean to us. This year we've just gotten a lot of people making religious arguments to us. I feel like I have half of Knox County praying for me at this point." Then they asked my about my personal faith. I told them I'm not a religious person, and while I think Jesus had some good ideas I don't believe he is the son of god. They seemed shocked to hear this - as if they'd never heard it before. "Aren't you saved?" one of them asked. My conversation with them was long but productive. I felt as if it was a genuine conversation. We were all listening to each other, learning about the other person's perspective and experience. They were much more conservative (evangelical) than I would have guessed, but weren't preachy, which was nice. For instance, when I explained that I didn't choose to be gay they seemed to understand that. But later in the conversation one boy said, "I can see how you might feel like you didn't have a choice. You seen, satan's minions are all around us, and they are devious and do devious things. I believe that they've convinced you that you are gay and that there is nothing you can do about it."

Later in the conversation I tried to engage them in more secular topics. I asked if they thought it was fair that GLBT folks can be discriminated against in house and employment. The agreed that it isn't fair. Then I asked about civil marriage and whether or not they think it is fair to deny that legal status to anyone. Some of them struggled with this question. They kept going back to religious marriage and talking about what God wants. I reminded them that I was talking about a legal status and nothing else. A few of them agreed that we should be allowed that status, but one boy still struggled. "I just have a really hard time taking the religious aspect out of it." Then that same boy mentioned the campaign against using the word gay to mean stupid (there is a clever ad campaign direct at teens that use the phrase "that's so gay" to mean "that's so stupid"). He said these ads were ineffective, that really we should just let it go in one ear and out the other and we'd be better off. I explained that I disagreed. That back in the day a lot of people though the blacks in the south would be better off if they just stayed quiet in the back of the bus." One of the girls then chimed in, "Yeah, if they aren't going to stand up for themselves, who is going to stand up for them?" Then, I asked them how they felt about people of other faiths - namely Muslims and Jews. "Well, really devout Muslims hate Christians. In the middle east if a Muslim sees a Christian he'll just pull out an AK-47 right away." I explained that this wasn't true and they didn't agree.

Just then Larry was finishing up with his group (which had multiplied like Gremlins in water) and I looked at my watch. It was 9:30pm meaning we had been at it for an hour. I told them we had to pack up and we all said goodbye. All in all it was a good conversation. They seemed like really good, if terribly misguided kids. Maybe it's the complete lack of diversity in Mount Vernon that accounts for some of the ignorance about people of other faiths. Whatever it is, it really needs to be rectified.

Here's what Larry had to say about his experience talking with the other group:

"Six boys jaunted by, eager to engage in a somewhat heated discussion regarding how they were really concerned about our welfare - that is how we could be Christian and claim to be homosexuals. Through their faith and 'Christianity' and homosexuality do not go hand in hand. 'Isn't the bible the literal word of God? And if someone does not believe that, then that person does not have faith in God's word. Homosexuality is not from God, nor are people born gay.' Many prayers were offered for our salvation. Some of the other comments made included: Job confronted a dinosaur which is described in the bible. Cavemen and women did not exist. Adam and Eve were pretty much like we are today. They didn't believe in evolution."

Day 5 at the Fair (Thursday 30 July 2009)

2009-07-31T21:52:00.010-04:00

Here is a note from Kim and Tony who worked in the morning together:

at noon: An Asian woman, walking hand-in-hand with her aging mother, told use about her gay cousin who had tried more than once to commit suicide. She was amazed by the suicide statistics on the signs. They are from Holmes County and said they know about being different. Then the mother stepped up and said haltingly, "I have Alzheimer's and people look at me sometimes they stare and that hurts." We had a good talk about how it feels to be different and how it hurts when others don't accept us.

I joined Kim and Tony at 3:00 and was soon joined by Larry. Here are the notes from our interactions during the afternoon:

3:15 pm A lady passed by, read one of Larry's signs, and had a strange, disapproving look on her face. Tony said, "It's terrible how hate can hurt people" and she just looked disapprovingly and walked away.

3:25 pm A man named Ted Ryan from the booth across the way ("The Wordless Book") came by and introduced himself to Tony. He said "Jesus forgives sin but have to stop sinning." He and Tony talked for a bit and the man eventually wandered back to his tent.

3:52 pm Three teenage girls stared at us from maybe 15 feet away. One said "that's disgusting" and then they laughed at us.

During a lull in the four o-clock hour, Larry copied down a list of things that had been said to him by some cantankerous religious men on Tuesday (this was when I had heard too much, lost it and left the booth just to come back 40 minutes later to hear it STILL going on):

1. "Sex between a man and woman is for procreation only."
2. "Sex between 2 men or 2 women is an act of lust."
3. "Allowing marriage between 2 men or 2 women will lead to individuals marrying animals."
4. "Gays choose their orientation and need to pray for change. If change does not happen, a family member must take charge and prevent the individual from committing sexual sin."
5. When asked what he would do if his child was to gay, he said, "First of all, a child of his would not be born gay, as God would not permit such--however if that would happen, prayer would change him."
6. "All men and women can have children--and if that does not happen, the would-be parents are not praying correctly."
7. "Children who are born unwanted will be taken care of by God just like the birds of the field. I take care of my own family [and not other people's children] and that is what counts."
8. "Abomination applies only to gay people--especially those involved in sexual relations."
9. "Some Bibles are wrong. My bible is right. God wrote it."
10. While this confrontation was going on, a lady came by and told these men to get away from our booth as we are "vile people."
11. We also received some sneers and looks of objection!

Thank goodness we did not encounter this same level of hate on Thursday, but we did have some interesting discussions with more religious folk (this time, more civil and polite conversations) later in the evening. I was very happy to work with Kate when she arrived for the evening shift (we have not seen much of each other this week!). Larry worked with us as well and even treated us to smoothies near the end of the night, which were a treat! Here are some notes from the rest of the evening:

4:30 pm A young man (perhaps in his 20s?)--an adamant agnostic (my kind of person)--stopped by, asked us about our organization, signed up for the email list, and took literature. We had a fairly long conversation with him. What an interesting, articulate, and smart fellow! He asked specifically about the "Bible thumpers" and we told him about some of our experiences. He also said, "Four years ago I would have been one of them." It is nice to know that people have the ability to change and become more open-minded as they experience life.

4:45 pm A lesbian stopped by and said she had seen our fliers for the Pride event and the April Gay Jeopardy Game in Kroger (nice to know our publicity system works!). She took some literature and signed up for our email list. She said her friends in Columbus couldn't believe that there was a GSA in Knox County.

4:56 pm A group of young kids (12-14) walked past, and a boy read the sign, "Knox County Gay-Straight Alliance . . . I'm very straight. I am not gay."

5:18 pm A lady stopped by with her kids, took some literature, and signed up for our email list.

5:20 pm The Mullendores stopped by :). We got to meet their son, Seth.

5:25 pm Ted Ryan (the man from the Wordless Book booth) came back to our booth, and a 25-minute conversation ensued. He said he didn't want to argue but took issue with Larry's sign that read, "We are all children of God." He showed Larry a verse in the Bible that he construed to mean that you are not a child of god unless you are Christian and accept Jesus as your savior. He did eventually admit that God created us all and said, "but we aren't living the way we should." Larry agreed that none of us are perfect.

Then he told us a story about how he and his religious friends wet to protest a strip club in Mansfield, and how the strip club people kept quoting "Judge not lest ye be judged." He did not appreciate their quoting that passage and dismissed them. (But why were the passages that Mr. Ryan quoted somehow more valid than that one? I did not ask him that, but I wish I had.)

Kate asked him where he was from, what church he was from, and what the Wordless book was all about, to which he said it was an enterprise of "child evangelism." (And people talk about how WE want to convert CHILDREN!) Kate engaged him in another conversation on how he felt about Jewish people. He said, "I feel for them the same way I feel about you--I want to share my message about Jesus with you."

Throughout the entire conversation, he was very calm and polite, never mean, but steadfast in his convictions. I give him credit for remaining polite.

He did go on to talk about how he believed homosexuality is a sin and that people are born as sinners, attracted to sin. He gave examples of people raping people, beating their children, all because they are attracted to sin. That was when I realized that our fundamental disagreement is simple: He believes that being gay is a sin on par with other things I certainly detest--rape, murder, violence--and I believe that being gay is not a sin. I wish I had realized our simple disagreement then and said something. We could have agreed to disagree at that point and been done with it.

Larry shared his story with this man about being born gay, and Kate shared her feelings about being gay, too. I said to him that no one in their right mind would choose this.

6:23 pm Another person passing by asked us the now classic question, "Are you for gays?" Kate: "Yes." Smiling, the lady replied, "Just wanted to know, passed by earlier this week and we weren't sure." Kate: "Thanks for asking."

Soon after, teenage boys made the rock concert devil horns and gave us a whoop. Good stuff!

6:42 pm A man with his son said he gets our newsletter and is supportive. He also commented on Larry's signs, and told us a story about when he was in the military: There was a gay man named Ray who everyone called "Gay Ray" and nobody messed with him. So nice to have straight allies stop by and share their stories with us, too!

7:00 pm The Wargas stopped by the booth. Great to have such great friends! :)

7:08 A young lady stopped by and asked, "Do you have the blue and yellow [HRC] stickers? I had one on my old care but need one for my new one." She did take an EO bumper sticker, but we did not have any HRC ones.

A little later, A man asked if Dawn was here, and then told us that he was setting up a policy on sexual orientation at his church and took literature. What a nice, supportive guy!

7:35 pm My friend, the owner of Action Waste, stopped by and enthusiastically introduced me to his son, Jared. Nice folks! I highly recommend Action Waste. This company was the one who helped sponsor the Mount Vernon street clean-up project that the GSA participated in a few months ago.

7:38 pm A mysterious kid rushed by the booth and said to Larry, "I was told by the carnies to give you this" and gave hima poster of a naked woman on a beach. Hmmm. . .

7:51 pm Larry is so popular! I met more of his friends, Art and Shelly, from Faith Lutheran.

7:58 pm The mom & a friend of a friend of the GSA stopped by and gave us a donation.

8:25 pm A teenage girl named Brooklyn came by and said she had a few questions for us. She asked us what we belived regarding the Bible and Jesus, to which Kate replied: "I'm not a Christian." Larry told his story about it not being a choice. She said that the Bible shows that God says marriage is between a man and a woman. She asked, "Do you believe that God is all powerful? Then you should believe that be can change you." The conversation moved on to a discussion of biblical passages. When she was done, she politely shook Larry's hand, and she did take a Soulforce book. Hopefully she will read it.

As it got really close to closing time, two ladies we met last year stopped by to show their support, as did another small group of people. What a nice way to end the night!

I did not work Friday (today, the day I am posting this), but I heard that Larry and Kate got lambasted by two separate groups of teens. Wish I could have been there to help, but I tend to clam up anyhow and don't think of what to say until after they all leave. So stay posted, I am sure Kate will type her latest experiences soon.

Thank you for reading our blog entries, and thanks for your support.

Day 4 at the Fair - Wednesday, July 29, 2009

2009-07-30T22:01:00.004-04:00

11:15am A young woman stopped by and chatted for a while. She said she supports open mindedness and acceptance.

1:30pm A lady stopped by and said, "I got nothing against nobody. My granddaughter is..."
Tony: "a lesbian?"
Lady: "Yes."
Later she said she was bisexual. "My sister doesn't like it at all. My family disowned me."

4:25pm A lady from the home and garden booth stopped by and said, "It's great to see you here again."

4:30pm Tony made a sign for the empty booth across the aisle from us. It reads "Knox Co. Procrastinators (see you next week)"

5:44pm A teenage boy walked up to us and said, "I have a question - are you for them or against them?"
Robert: "What do you mean by 'them?'"
Boy: "Gays"
Robert: "We support gay people in Knox County."
Boy: "Well, I think you're wrong."
Then he left and came back perhaps a minute later. This time he stayed to have a conversation. Robert took the whole "someone you know is gay and afraid to tell you" approach and this boy just said, "No they aren't. And if they told me that I wouldn't love them." Then after explaining that we don't think there is anything wrong with gay people he just shook his head and said, "the fall of this country..." After another brief interation he said, "Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree" and walked away.

Just then a group of 3 young men walked by and one said, "I'm a supporter!" and waved to us. It was nice to hear that after the conversation with that other boy.

7:35pm Three young women from Fredericktown, two in high school, stopped by to show their support and take literature.

7:37pm Four young people, two of each gender, picked up a bunch of literature from us.

8:02pm Nicole and Alexis stopped by to say "hi." Always nice to see friends.

8:06pm Chris, who lives with his partner in Galion, was really surprised to see an organization in Knox County and may come to our picnic in August.

8:14pm Overheard a kid on the phone saying "Hey, should I sign you up for the gay-straight alliance?" We still deal with the occasional immature teenager. It's amazing to me where different sets of teens stand on these issues. Some are very actively supporters, some are very actively in opposition (generally religious) and many seem to be stuck in that "I'm giggling because I just heard someone say 'gay'" phase.

8:37pm A supportive person from the Main Place booth stopped by to say hello.

8:44pm A woman from Columbus in her 20's with a little boy stopped by. "He just said to me, 'Mom, you're a lesbian.' and I said, 'I know, isn't it cool.'" She was very excited to see us at the fair.

8:49pm A kid passing by the booth with three others said, "These guys are awesome!"

Overall it was another successful day at the fair. All the interactions were civil and pleasant, which is all I can hope for.

Day 3 at the Fair, part II (Tuesday, July 28, 2009)

2009-07-30T21:43:00.003-04:00

3:35pm Two people from the career center, about to graduate as RNs, one man and one woman stopped by and thanked us for being here. They also picked up information.

3:40pm Another visitor - A gay man with his gay roommate. He said he came last year and our booth was one of the reasons he came to the fair again this year.

3:47pm A boy stopped by and took some candy. He then asked his friends, "Hey, do you think this is gay candy?" Larry responded, "Yes, it is!"

3:47pm A lady stopped by, made a generous donation and thanked us for our work.

3:55pm A man walked past the booth saying, "it's all sin..." Victoria's notes say he went on and on being unkind.

At this point the three interactions with the gentlemen from the baptist temple (as explained by Victoria in the last post) took place. After the 8 year old boy, who was sent by the people in the baptist temple's booth showed us the bible verses and explained to our members that we were sinners, left a young teenage girl (12 - 14) came up to Robert sitting at the booth and said, "You just told my brother it's ok to be gay. It's not it's a sin and it's in the bible." Robert actually didn't say that to the boy, he had only just arrived.

6:27pm Sasha from the Freedom Center (which has a booth across the way) stopped by and said, "I just wanted to stop by and say I'm glad you all are here. You're turning a lot of heads and that's a good thing."

6:37pm Ruth came by and talked about how good this is, and told Robert about her gay grandson, who is getting his PhD, and how close he is to their son, who is his gay uncle.

6:43pm Tom stopped by, he goes to the First Congregational church where we hold our meetings. Always nice to see a friendly face.

7:02pm A kid came by and said that people are created to be straight and Robert launched into his response: "You have a friend or family member who is gay and they are afraid to tell you because they are afraid you won't love them anymore." The boy said, "Well, I'd love them anyway." He then asked us if we are gay and when four of us said "yes" he just said, "you're kidding me!"

7:14pm A person stopped by and wanted one of our flags, we gave him some literature.

8:16pm A man named David came by to say that we're using a lot of hate language in our signage in talking about bigots. Robert thanked him for pointing that out and he replied, "maybe I've said too much."

8:18pm A woman with a little boy came by to pick up some literature and took the Soul Force pamphlet.

8:21pm A woman pushing another in a wheelchair said, "We're married. We want to get involved in this." They have a 17 year old son.

8:40pm Monica, Chris and Sophie came to the booth with a couple and their two kids from their church in Centerburg.

Day 3 at the Fair (Tuesday, July 28, 2009), part I

2009-07-29T08:22:00.003-04:00

Rissah, a local high school student, met me at 11 to work the first few hours at the fair booth this morning. Tony and Larry joined us a bit later. It was a pretty slow morning, but was had a bit more activity throughout the afternoon. I continue to be pleased with how many wonderfully supportive comments we are receiving. Here are some of the interactions we recorded in the notebook:

11:45 am A sweet man from the Main Place booth stopped by, stayed for quite awhile, read our signs, asked about buying a t-shirt, and said, “I have friends who are that way, and I don’t care. People try to tell me not to hang out with them, but they are my friends. I can choose my friends and they can choose theirs!”

12:07 pm The Nordmoes stopped by. :) Always good to see friends!

2:05 pm Three teenagers stopped by who were generally supportive. It was a good conversation overall—topics ranged from the DGSCA’s involvement has with local churches, to unfair laws and stories of a man they knew who was denied a job just because he is openly gay. I’m encouraged by the open-mindedness of our youth!

2:20 pm Two woman walked by, said “makes sense!” This came from folks who are ostensibly conservative who told us about how they are displeased that bible stories and the pledge of allegiance have been taken out of the schools. As the left, they said “good luck!” and wished us well.

2:45 pm A lady said to a man while passing by the booth: “gay . . . straight . . . gay-straight alliance . . .” as if she were reading something in a foreign language.

3:00 pm A young man from Journey Church (who moved here this past year from Memphis, Tennessee) stopped by and gave us a donation. We chatted with him for a bit. He was wearing a green t-shirt that read, “No other god but you—Journey UBS ’09.” I was really impressed by this young man. Larry asked about his church, and he said, “They are pretty accepting. They are really trying to reach out to people who typically are not inclined to go to church at all.” This sort of interaction gives me so much encouragement. First, it is nice to know that there are churches in the area that are welcoming to all people, including GLBT people. Second, it is nice to know that many of our young people, especially those whose faith is important to them, recognize that their god loves all people and that love is much better than hate.

So the day was going REALLY WELL until around 4:00. In the four o'clock hour, we encountered our first truly awful interactions involving three different sets of people. (I missed the second one entirely because I left the booth when the first group of men said something about gay relationships being less valid and stable than straight relationships. Not sure why that is what made me lose it, but that was when I had had enough. I just could not sit there and take any more of it. Thank goodness for Tony and Larry's patience with these difficult conversations. I feel like maybe I am not cut out for this kind of work after all.) So after 30 minutes or so, and I felt I had calmed myself down I walked back to the booth slowly only to find a man and a little boy going at it with Tony. It was more of the same hateful talk--"being gay is an abomination," "you aren't a real Christian," "it is there in the Bible," "you are corrupting our youth," etc. It turns out the Baptists (from the church on Yauger Road) had sent the kid up to the booth first to start preaching at us, and then the grown-up man came. Who would stoop so low as to use a kid as a pawn to spew hate? This latest interaction I happened upon put me over the edge again, unfortunately just as Robert arrived. Some happy welcome for him to the booth (it was his first shift!). Robert was sweet and comforted me, and soon after, Kate arrived. Once the evening shift was in place, Tony, Larry, and I took off for the evening.

There was one final interaction worth mentioning that happened right before I left. A girl came up to Robert and asked, "Did you tell my brother it is okay to be gay? Because it is not. It is against our religion." Robert asked her, "Well, what if your brother turned out to be gay? Wouldn't you want him to know he is okay?" I guess not all of our youth are as progressive as I would like to think they are.

I heard that Robert took copious notes the rest of the evening so I will try to type those up while I work at the booth today and post them tomorrow. Thanks to all of our allies who have stopped by our booth and shown support. It makes a big difference!

The second day at the fair (Monday, July 27, 2009)

2009-07-29T08:19:00.001-04:00

I got to the booth at 11:00. Tony was already almost done setting up and said he already had a positive interaction this morning. That is great! It is always good to start the day off with a positive experience. Scott joined us shortly after I arrived.

In our first hour we two notable interactions:

11:40 am A woman we met last year at the fair came by, said hello and that she still had some of the literature she picked up last year at the fair. She said, “My lesbian friends are in town and they have a son who has been having a bit trouble lately. . . . His friends ask him if he is going to homosexual but he says, ‘it doen’t matter; my parents will love me no matter who I love.”

11:44 am A man came by and took some literature (one of each), and told Scott he was a youth pastor.

And we had more experiences after noon:

12:30 pm A young man (junior high or high school age) stopped by, read our signs after approaching the table, and asked, “what is this all about?” Tony explained and we offered him literature. He took Tony’s “God vs. Gays” booklet and a piece of candy and thanked us.

2:20 pm A lady passed by, smiled and nodded in approval.

3:12 pm Mary Dye stopped by and asked how the vigil went last week. I told her it was a success, and she seemed pleased.

3:25 pm A lady with her daughter and grandson (I assume) read our signs and said, “I agree completely. We need more acceptance especially right now.” Good stuff!

3:45 pm A blonde boy threw a stink bomb into our tent. I tried to pick it up and throw it in the trash before it went off, but only got as far as the middle of the path in front of us. It went off, and I gave up, but Larry picked up the trash leftover from it. I wish I could say that was the only stink bomb we got, but I would be lying if I did.

3:51 pm A young women working as staff at the fair said, “This is the first time I’ve seen something in support . . . I’m from Georgia. I’m supportive. I am not gay, but I’m bisexual and I’m supportive.”

4:10 pm The Riskos stopped by. It is always nice to see friends! :)

4:35 pm Two young people came by and asked what our booth was about. Tony explained. The firl seemed appreciative, gave a donation, and took some literature.

My shift ended at 5:00 so I went home. Kate recorded the events from the rest of the evening:

5:33 pm Three girls stood at the Wordless Book booth across from us and just stared at our booth, reading the signs.

5:35 pm A lady walked by, saw the booth, and said, “Oh—Awesome. That is so cool!”

7:23 pm Two young men in their 30s stopped by and were very excited to see us. One of the men said he had just come out to everyone. “I didn’t know we had one of there I town!” They took a bunch of literature and thanked us as they left.

7:43 pm Passerby: “It’s okay for me to disagree with all this, right?”
Tony: “Sure, but do you agree that God loves all people?”
“Yeah, but I just feel that it’s a choice. How can you say you are godly when it says it’s wrong right there in the bible? . . . I had these two gay friends and if anyone said anything bad about them I would have bashed them. . . . What about Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve? . . . You guys are cool so, bye!”

8:20 pm A group of four teenagers, one of whom was pregnant, stopped by to take some literature. One said, “I’m going to show this to my mom! She has issues.” Another: “My mom doesn’t have issue ‘cause she loves Kelly.” Kelly: “Yeah, I just try to be lovable.”

I also heard another story of a man coming by the booth who refused to believe that being gay is not a choice. Larry asked him, “When did you choose to be heterosexual?” to which the man replied, “Well, I was just born that way.” Larry and the others tried to explain to him it is the same for gay people, that we are just born this way, but the man would not concede. He asked if we believed in the power of prayer, and if so, why wouldn’t we pray for God to change us. Eventually he asked, “So you actually think it is okay to be gay?” (Well, yes.) The conversation remained civil, which is good, but it ended with the man saying, “Well I am going to pray for you.” Larry responded, “Well I am going to pray for you, too.” (I can think of worse ways for a conversation to end.)

Experiences from the First Day at the Fair (Sunday, July 26, 2009)

2009-07-28T07:26:00.003-04:00

[NB I know this is a little late in getting posted, but fair week has been hectic so far. I have only been able to type our experiences from the first day because I brought my computer with me yesterday to the fair!]

We had a great opening day of the fair. Kate and I opened the booth. Joan worked for several hours, and Larry, Tony, Martha, and Gwen worked the afternoon and evening shifts. It is wonderful to have so many willing volunteers this year. It makes all the difference—thanks to everyone who is volunteering this week. Here is a sample of comments and interactions we recorded:

11:16 am Lady passing by: “Gay-Straight . . . huh . . . what does that mean?” Kate explains. Lady: “Oh, okay, I was just curious what it meant.”

12:11 pm A lady asked what our booth was all about, and Kate explained. The lady wanted to know if this was some sort of movement to make gay people straight. We explained that GSAs are not designed to convert anyone one way or another, but rather that the purpose of most GSAs are for both gay and straight people to support one another.

12:15 pm A lady and a young boy stopped by, took literature from Equality Ohio about the laws in Ohio that exclude sexual orientation and gender identity. The woman was surprised that it is still legal to fire someone because they are gay.

12:30 pm A young boy (12–14 years old) and his mom and grandma were walking past the booth. He started to walk over to us to get a piece a candy. The mom tried to hold him back. He just pushed her hand away and came over here anyway. He took a piece, said thank you, and then left. The mom just kept walking. I think much of the resistance we encounter these days come from older generations. I think the younger generations are getting it!

1:00 pm A young family stopped by and took literature and candy. They were very pleasant and said thanks.

3:10 pm A high school student came up to our booth and said, “Okay, I don’t want to read anything right now, but I have a question. Are you for or against gays?” (the standby question we heard so much last year). Tony replied, “We believe in equal treatment for all people.” Then she gave us two thumbs up and seemed pleased.

Martha’s report for the afternoon shift:

3:55 pm We were talking with each other, minding our own business, when we heard a pop from behind the tent. Then we smelled something. Upon investigation, we found someone had set off a “fart bomb” behind the tent.

5:20 pm A woman with a Red Cross shirt stopped by. A friend of hers has a son who graduated from high school a few years ago. She believes the son is gay but the mother is not supportive and the son is closeted. She took some lieterature. (Note—she looked at our booth for a long time before coming over, and we all assumed from her facial expression that disapproved of us. But we were wrong!)

5:45 pm A man, two women, and child stopped by. They were supportive. One woman’s uncle had married but struggled with his sexuality his whole life. The man’s boss and office manager are partners and he has no problem with it. “Let them marry—let them be as miserable as the rest of us!”

7:25 pm Three teenagers stopped by. They are supportive and took bumper stickers for their cars.

7:30 pm A woman stopped by and asked if Dawn was here. She wanted to say hi. She put a few dollars in our bowl. We asked her how she was enjoying the fair and she replied, “you know, it is what it is.” :)

7:40 pm Dale, the balloon man from the Wordless Book booth across the way, stopped by to talk. He asked how we explained Romans and Tony launched into his explanation of Romans and they continued to have a pleasant civil conversation. When he said he thought being gay was a choice and/or that it was the result of poor upbringing, Larry shared his story. When we asked Dale when he chose to be heterosexual, he said he didn’t, he was born that way. We nodded and said yes!—that’s the way it works for gay people too. He took a Soulforce pamphlet, a God vs. Gays pamphlet, and The Only Question That Matters pamphlet, and he said he’d ask his pastor about it. He also asked why God didn’t make Adam & Steve instead of Adam & Eve. Tony responded that it’s likely that Adam & Eve has all aspects of all people built in their DNA—including people of all sexual orientations.

8:05 pm A woman passed by, waved and said hi.” :)

My (Straight, Christian) Experience at The Knox County Fair

2008-07-30T19:32:00.002-04:00

When I heard Knox GSA would have a booth at the fair, I thought, oh I couldn't do that, I'm not brave enough. But then my friend Phillip died of AIDS. Fair week means my full-time job is extra intense, but I wanted to at least visit and sit a while with my friends the GSA-ers in Phillip's honor and his memory.

It was a fascinating experience over three too-short evening shifts, what a friend called "a sociological experiment" for me, the rather naive, small-town, straight church-goer girl (albeit at the most liberal and open church in Knox County -- First Congregational United Church of Christ).

Sociology, oh, yeah. I saw some appalling behaviors and gestures, and heard some unbelievable invective and strange, disturbing logic. I was embarrassed to be a fellow Christian with these people, who I think have forgotten that "Christ" is the basis of that word that describes our beliefs, and that Christ preached the gospel of love, especially to those his very own society looked down on. Jesus never turned anyone away, but these folks sure did, and many of them in his name.

I'm reading a book called "Lord, Save Us From Your Followers: Why The Gospel Of Love Is Dividing America," by Dan Merchant. It's also been made into a movie and will be available on DVD. Highly recommended, and the title is self-explanatory of the book, the premises of which I watched play out at the Knox County Fair.

What I saw:

--A little boy, maybe 9, 10, laughing uproariously out loud, pointing at the GSA sign, and tugging his father's sleeve: "Dad, Dad, look at that. Ha, ha, ha!" Fortunately the father didn't have much reaction. I just hope the little boy's peers don't have the same mindset.

--A woman handing us a printout from the Internet, complete with typos, that must have come (because someone else gave us one also) from some website that explains "how to talk to people who claim they 'have' to be gay." Full of scripture references to "those" scriptures. She pointed at a few of us in turn, including me. "I love you, I love you, I love you, but we are told to hate the sin, love the sinner." She refused to take any of our literature, or even converse with us. And this tirade unfolded in front of her impassive listening husband and babies in their stroller, as well as people passing by. In the interest of laughing instead of crying, we got a good giggle about her saying she loved me, since I'm straight too. :-) Funny how she threw us all into the same little pigeon-hole marked "Sinner" if big red letters.

--People not understanding the Gay-Straight Alliance phrase. Whoa. I suspect this is a Knox County lack-of-education problem, because what's not to understand about hyphen usage and the word "alliance"? But Kate and Victoria said many people asked what it meant, and many asked if they were "for" or "against" gays. Bizarre. We gotta remember that we live in Knox County ...

--People, presumably Christians, walk by, read the sign, then make dismissive gestures, laugh, roll their eyes, nudge each other, whisper, make over-the-shoulder insults, etc. Not very Christ-like reactions; certainly not reactions of love and acceptance of all in the name of their Christ.

--That sitting with my friends didn't bother me in the least. I looked passersby right in the eye, laughed and talked with my friends, and cared not a whit what anyone watching might have thought, about me, my friends, or my own sexuality. If they wanted to think I'm gay, then it just shows they are stereotyping in another way. I do think I matured spiritually just by participating -- wonderful!

What I heard about when not there:

--Scott being called a "fag" by a teenager, just because he's male and was sitting in the booth. He and his wife are on vacation, so I haven't got to hear his reaction to that yet. But whoa.

-- Reading Kate's and Victoria's negative experiences in their blogs was depressing and painful. Their, and others', stories of mean people, holier-than-thou Christians, closed-minded people, people with their minds apparently in the gutter who think only of body parts and sex when they think about homosexuals, and the young Knox Countians with really bad attitudes that don't bode well for future generations, was really hard to ponder. The young "cowboy in training" who dared to come up and try to discuss lesbian lovemaking from a pornographer's sick viewpoint especially made me queasy. Who are these children and where are their parents and how do children adopt an attitude of hate before they're even grown up?

I'm a religion news reporter and have always been fascinated by the various religions, denominations, fundamentalism, hypocrisy, dogma, doctrine, church history, etc. so I desperately wanted to ask people, "So ... what church do you go to?" But I wanted to stay within the Knox GSA committed mode of open dialogue and non-combative discussion, and not embarrass my friends. But I really wanted to ask. :-) Not that it would have made a difference ...

Frankly, I'm scared for Knox County. Despite our rich history and heritage and the natural beauty of this place, we've now got a major polarization of -- let's be honest -- thinking Christians and "ostrich" Christians (with their heads in the sand ... a la the John Freshwater / Minute Men controversies that refuse to go away). The middle school Christian kids have polarized themselves, according to parents, and think nothing of ostracizing, ridiculing, even threatening other children who don't agree with them. That is REALLY frightening and doesn't bode well for the upcoming school year. I'm scared violence could break out if this keeps up.

God help us all. Seek justice, love kindness and walk humbly with God. And equal rights for all -- that means EVERYONE, no exceptions,
Kim

Last Day at the Fair

2008-07-28T07:29:00.007-04:00

It was incredibly nice to sleep in yesterday and know that we are done with the fair for this year. I took a little more time before posting this entry because I had so much I wanted to say. The entire experience has been remarkable. I am very glad I had this opportunity to try to open the minds and hearts of our fellow Ohioans. (Kate came up with that phrase "opening minds and hearts" on Saturday while we were working; we thought it might make a nice slogan for the Knox GSA.)

Saturday, our last day at the fair, was both challenging and rewarding. Kate and I worked the booth in the morning. Sue, Therese, and their three wonderful children worked the booth with us for most of the afternoon and early evening. They brought a crock pot full of delicious creamed chicken, which was the best meal I have had all week! We have amazing friends. Dawn and Alexis also worked the booth with us during the afternoon, and Kim came by in the evening to help. I am grateful for all of the help these generous people have given us. Thank you!

I have found that as the week progressed, more and more people were feeling comfortable approaching our booth, particularly those who were not so friendly. Still, we had a number of sympathetic visitors yesterday, too. Here is a sample of our experiences, both positive and negative:

A man approached the booth, and said "Explain to me what 'gay-straight' is."
Kate: "It means we are a group of straight and gay people who believe in equality."
Man: "Equality, huh? Well, why is there a cross on that sign?" (He was referring to the DGSCA logo.)
Kate: "We are three organizations. That is the Delaware Gay-Straight Christian Alliance, which is a group of both gay and straight Christians who believe in equality for gay and straight people."
Man: "Those words, 'gay-straight' shouldn't go with 'Christian.'"
Kate: "'Straight' shouldn't go with 'Christian'?"
Man: "No, 'straight' and 'Christian' is fine. 'Gay' and 'Christian' is wrong. It's right there in the bible. It's wrong." Then the man walked away.
I guess the best part of this encounter was that another person passing by, who overheard the conversation, put his hands to his head and made a "nah-nah-nee-boo-boo" gesture (yes, very mature) toward the man who was walking away. I hate to admit it, but that made us feel a lot better!

During the one o'clock hour, a woman wearing an "I-support-John-Freshwater--GOD" t-shirt came by with a bootleg printout of bible verses that she wanted me to give to Tony. She said that Tony had told her that her translation of the bible was wrong and that she was following up with him. The funny thing is that nowhere on the printout does it explain anything about her translations, and I am pretty sure that someone just did a hasty search on the internet to compile the information. Funnier still, another lady (a friend of this visitor), came by in the evening with a copy of the same printout, typos and all. I would post a copy of it online just to show these people's idiocy, but that would not be very kind.

We finally had our first positive encounter around 1:30 when a young lady from a local Christian radio station approached our booth. At this point, I had braced myself for the worst; I simply assumed she was stopping at our booth to tell us that homosexuality is wrong. But, fortunately, it turns out I was mistaken. This lady told us that she found out about last month's Pride Celebration Potluck and had wanted to promote it on the radio station, but her superiors would not allow her to do that. She argued, "Well you know, Jesus is going to be at that potluck!"
(Along the same lines, I'd like to think that if Jesus were still around today, he would have been sitting with us at our Knox GSA booth, wearing Birkenstock sandals and helping us educate others!)
The young lady told us that personally she has been conflicted between the constraints of the Nazarene and her compassion for her gay friends and her knowledge of the struggles they have experienced. She stayed awhile longer and continued to talk to us. It was an uplifting conversation. She mentioned that she entered the Mt. Vernon Nazarene University as a conservative Christian and now she is a more open-minded democrat. She also told us that there are many gay students at the Naz. Her theory is that parents will often send their gay children there in hope that can be changed. She said that she has hope for the future at the Naz, that it is changing because more and more open-minded people are coming into the church. She also mentioned, as evidence of this, that recently they changed the manual to allow social drinking. (The ban on dancing was lifted some 20 years ago.)

The sad and ironic thing about this wonderful encounter is that prejudged her simply because I saw her wearing a MVNU radio station shirt and had assumed the worst. I admitted this and apologized to her before she left. (Just goes to show me that I need to remember not to judge others myself.) Kate said to me after she left, "That's the hope for me. A girl immersed in [conservative Christianity] can make up her mind not to treat us any differently." Her visit really made our day.

During the four o'clock hour an angry lady approached our booth: "So what do you stand for?"
Us: "Equality."
Lady: "I'm all for equality, but it is not right. Have you read the bible? Sodom and Gomorrah?" (Note the logic, or lack thereof, in the lady's words. NB Sodom and Gomorrah is about hospitality and rape, not homosexuality.)

During the five o'clock hour, a kid passing by said, "Not my kind of gay." We weren't sure how to take that.

A kind man who had been a United Methodist Minister asked us how we have been received especially in such a conservative atmosphere. He took our literature and was very supportive.

During the six o'clock hour, another man approached us and asked, "Are you for or against gays?" (This seems to be a very common question!)
Us: "For . . . we are for equality."
Man: "I could care less." He seemed disgusted and walked away.

A woman came to our table and said excitedly, "It's about time!" She seemed very glad we were here.

During the seven o'clock hour, a senior from East Knox High School said, "I love what you're doing." Kate asked if she needed information and then explained about the three groups at the booth. The senior said the students are going to speak with the principal again this year to see if they can get some sort of group started. Kate asked, "A gay-straight alliance?"
The young woman: "No, maybe something else we can get them to agree to."
Kate: "Like a diversity group or something?"
Young woman: "Yeah. We did something for the Day of Silence this past year, and over 30 kids wore buttons. Not all of them were silent, but they did wear buttons. We hope to have more people doing it this year now that there is more awareness." After the conversation, she signed up for the e-mail list and also took a pamphlet. She then went to see her friends and showed them the pamphlet.

Another girl took some candy, saw the Soulforce booklet and began flipping through it. Kate said, "You can take that if you want."
Girl: "I just want to know if homosexuals are good or bad."
Kate: "Well, I'm a homosexual, and I'd like to think I'm good."
Meredith: "She's good." (Thanks for vouching for my girlfriend, Meredith!)

Another passer by: "I'm not for or against homosexuals. I mean I have friends who are homos. I know a lot of homosexuals. . . . I just wanted some information." (I think we also need to do some educating on appropriate and inappropriate language! Most gay people I know don't like to be called homos!)

We also had some positive reactions when we asked folks if they knew people could legally be fired or denied housing just for being gay and if they would sign the FIRED cards. Here is a sample of those responses:

"You're kidding! You can be fired for that?"

"One's sexuality shouldn't matter. . . . A friend of mine got fired from major national company just for being gay."

One woman signed a FIRED card and then took 2 for her sister and brother-in-law to sign. I have been very pleased with the number of people who seemed compelled to spread the message to others.

All together, we collected 101 FIRED cards over the course of the week. That is amazing to me. Most of those who filled out the cards are Knox County residents, which gives me hope. We also have collected many e-mail addresses to add to our e-mailing list. We now have 84 subscribers all together!

Of course, I am glad now that the fair has concluded, but after reflecting yesterday on our many experiences, I feel overjoyed with the positive responses we had, in addition to our many opportunities to educate people here. This had been an incredibly powerful experience for me, and I feel fortunate to have had this amazing opportunity. I look forward to our continued presence in Knox County, at next year's fair and beyond. Thanks again to all who helped staff the booth and to friends who stopped by to show their support. We could not have done it without you!

Friday Night at the Fair - Notes from Kate

2008-07-26T09:25:00.004-04:00

While Victoria was off getting dinner I had a couple of interactions that I thought I should share. I apologize in advance - this is longer than I intended.

First we had a few supportive people stop by the booth to chat and get information. "Thank you for being here," one person said. Another told a story of her friend, a lesbian. "I have a lesbian friend who has a son and she's afraid to put him in the Boy Scouts because if they find out about her they can kick him out. That's crap! Don't get me started...thank you for the information." Another stopped by and asked if we were a new group in town: "Are you new, I haven't seen this before?" After we explained to her that it's still legal in Ohio to fire someone based on their sexual orientation or gender identity her jaw dropped and she said, "Are you shitting me? I'm sorry, I moved here from California, so I just don't understand what the problem is." There is a real need for education on these issues in town - I feel good that the Knox County GSA, the DGSCA and Equality Ohio are all present at the fair to do some of that educating. I think many more people would be supportive of the EHEA if they knew the facts and saw that it is an issue of fairness.

Speaking of which, I told Victoria as I was driving to the fair that I planned on asking the next religious person who stopped by how they feel about the Equal Housing and Employment Act. After all, whether or not someone thinks the "behavior" is wrong or a sin shouldn't impact how they feel about the bills that have been introduced. I didn't realize I would get my chance last night.

A woman in a long denim skirt from the booth next door (the Mount Vernon Baptist Temple) came up to me and said, "Where do you find it in the bible that it's ok to be a lesbian?" I told her I wasn't really concerned with that and she just looked at me for a while. Then she said, "Well, what church are you affiliated with?" I told her there were three groups at the table and that none of them were affiliated with any one church. The Delaware Gay Straight Christian Alliance in Delaware consists of Christians from various churches in the area that believe in fairness for all and have inclusive worship services - but they aren't affiliated with any one church. She looked long and hard again and then invited me to come to her church where they could "straighten me out." "You don't have to be that way," she said. "You don't have to be a lesbian." I told her I appreciated her coming over here and speaking to me, and that I know she feels like she is just trying to help me, but I'm fine the way I am and don't need to be fixed.

Then I said that I don't come at this issue from a religious perspective, but that I am interested in things from a political point of view. I asked her if she knew you could be fired in Ohio just for being GLBT. She didn't know that. I asked if she knew we could be denied housing or service in a restaurant. She didn't know that. I then asked her if she thought that was fair. She balked a little bit, hemmed and hawed, and then said I would be welcome at her church. I said I appreciated that, but I asked again, "Do you think it's fair that I could be fired just for being a lesbian? Even if I do a great job at work I could be fired just for being gay." She finally conceded, "No, that's not fair, it shouldn't make a difference. But you don't have to be that way." I asked her if she would fill out a FIRED card saying she thought it was unfair and she said, "No, I don't think I should be signing anything." Then she invited me to her church again. "You see, you would be welcome at our church, but you couldn't be active in our church." I have to admit, that sort of confused me, so I asked what "active" meant. She said, "Oh well you could come in and sit down and listen to the pastor, but you wouldn't be allowed to sing or participate in any way." Scott then spoke up and said he is studying to become a minister. He said the First Congregational UCC church in town is supportive of GLBT people and is an open and affirming church. She said, "Oh the UCC? Yeah, they accept it. But it's wrong." And then she walked away. While Scott was talking with her I noticed there were two young girls at the table and I asked them if they had any questions. They said "no" and I could tell they were listening to what the woman had to say. When she left one of the girls said those people make her crazy.

After a few minutes (and after Victoria came back with her dinner) the woman came back to get another Soulforce pamphlet and some more information about the DGSCA. She told me this is my choice and she said after I die it's my choice where I end up. I thanked her again for stopping by and she left.

Overall it was a polite interaction. I'm glad I got to talk to her about the EHEA and I'm sure she was happy she got to share her perspective with me.

Before going to bed last night we watched a short movie called "20 Straws" that was about (and I think made by) GLBT youth in Columbus. One of the young men in the film said, "I can't hate those people that hate me for being gay. That would make me a hypocrite. I have to love those people for who they are if I am going to ask them to love me for who I am." It was a good message to hear after a long day and a long week. We have one more day to go and I am going to try to keep that in mind.

Day 6 at the Fair

2008-07-26T08:34:00.008-04:00

Yesterday was a long and taxing day. I kept notes throughout the day. Tony and I encountered our first visitor at 11:15, and it happened to be a hateful person. A day at the fair just would not be complete without a hateful person, now would it? Here's what happened:

Man: "What is this?"
Me: "Three organizations--The Delaware Gay-Straight Christian Alliance, Equality Ohio a statewide organization, and the Knox County Gay-Straight Alliance--all of which work toward and believe in equality for all people regardless of sexual orientation."
Man: "What does 'gay-straight' mean?" At this point, I could tell the man was hostile by his body language and tone of voice.
Tony: "Both gay and straight people working together equal rights for all people."
Man: "Well, you know where those people belong . . . in a hole."
Tony: "Why do you think that? Are you frightened by gay people?"
Man: "Yes, they don't have to be that way."

The exchange continued, and the man eventually said he wasn't frightened, but mad. He also said at one point that all gay people should be drowned. Ouch.

He also asked Tony, "Which part of the 'gay-straight' are you on?"
Tony: "Straight."
Man: "That's the right side to be on."

The exchange continued. I remained silent. The exchange ended with Tony saying to the man, "Please go. If you want to be hateful, just go." And then he did.

Wow. This exchange really hurt me more than the others, for some reason. Perhaps it is just the exhaustion of this entire endeavor, the cumulative effect of the handful of hateful things we've witnessed. It takes a toll.

Kate was saying yesterday that up until this past week she had believed that even if people thought mean things about us, they would never have the gumption to say those things to our faces. But, we've both learned that it is not the case, sadly enough.

After I wrote all of this down in my notebook yesterday morning right after it all happened, I decided that I needed to let it all go. I give these hateful people power when I engage them or allow myself to get caught up in what happened. If I can let it go, then they no longer have any power over me. Just wish it was that easy to do.

During the next few hours, Tony and I had a number of visitors to the booth, ranging from individuals simply looking for literature to folks who engaged us in meaningful conversations. One woman walked by, read the DGSCA sign and gave us a thumbs up. The deputy sheriff came by again (he stopped by earlier this week) and asked for another Soulforce pamphlet. The publication called "What the bible really says, and doesn't say, about homosexuality" is written by Mel White who was one of Jerry Falwell's speech writers until he came out as gay. This has, by far, been our most popular piece of literature. I have added a link to a .pdf of the booklet on our Knox County GSA website: http://www.knoxgsa.org-a.googlepages.com/downloadablematerials

Here are some of the things people said to us throughout the afternoon:

"My brother-in-law- lives in Indiana. He's a lawyer and for the longest time was afraid to be out at work. But now he is in a higher position and is out, but he was afraid for a long time."

"My good friend is bi, and I had lots of friends in high school that are gay. I knew it before some of them did!"

"This is cool. I've got two moms."

During the one o'clock hour, a man came up to the table and said in a combative tone, "What's this 'gay-straight' about? I heard you're here and wanted to know what this is all about. Tell me quickly." So I gave him a brief explanation, something along the lines of "basically straight and gay people who believe in equality for all people." he asked us if we promote homosexuality and we said no, we promote equal treatment for all. The conversation continued for a few minutes. The guy finally left and said, "I have to get going otherwise someone might think I'm gay. . . . Just kidding . . ." I think he was only half kidding.

Before Tony left around 2:30, we both had marveled at the looks of cognitive dissonance in the eyes of many passers by. I worked the booth by myself until Scott came by a little after 3:00. He witnessed quite a bit during his first hour at the booth. One boy called him a fag, which is interesting particularly because Scott is straight. Another teenage boy approached the table and asked, "Have you seen two lesbians have sex? Because I think it is hot." We said nothing. He persisted, "Have you? I really want to know." Some of these kids have a lot of growing up to do. Another teenage boy, a cowboy in training it seems, approached the table, spit on the ground, and asked "What's this all about?" When we told him, he shook his head and went back to his friends.

A few other folks stopped by, and we had encounters that were much more positive. But, by the time 9:00 pm rolled around, I was definitely ready to go home! We have just one more day at the fair--today--and it will be a long one. We cannot close our booth until after 11:00 pm so it is a good thing we were able to sleep in longer than normal this morning.

I took a short break last night, and evidently we had some more interesting visitors while I was gone. Kate took notes, and I imagine she will add her experiences to this blog soon.

Thanks again to all who have helped and visited us during the day. Kim joined us for a while in the evening, and it always makes such a difference to have supportive friends to help pass the time.

Some general thoughts on the fair

2008-07-25T13:40:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to share some general thoughts about our time at the fair thus far this week (this is Kate posting). I think Victoria has done a great job with the details of each day, but I wanted to comment on the big picture for a minute.

Let me start by saying how important this work is. I truly believe this type of grassroots effort is how we are going to change hearts and minds in this state. Our neighbors in Knox County now know who we are, know what we are about (if they've had the courage to ask us) and can put a local face to any GLBT issues they might hear about or come across. And, we have met many GLBTA folks in the county that had never heard of us before. Some of these people weren't sure whether they should approach the booth but were happy to see friendly faces when they did. Others may not have come up to us, but they know we are here. I hope to see some of these new faces at one of our future events. We've also been able to educate the people who have stopped by our booth about issues facing the GLBT community in the state. So many people were willing to sign FIRED cards to show their support for the Equal Housing and Employment Act bills currently in the Ohio House and Senate. They were horrified to hear that gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people can be denied employment, housing or public accommodation purely based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. We even had some people come back to the booth with friends to have them fill out FIRED cards.

I would say about 99% of our interactions have been like those I described above - positive, encouraging and supportive. However, we have had far more (and more severe) negative interactions than I would have guessed. I've been lucky because I haven't had to deal with a lot of "in-your-face" discrimination in my life. In fact, I've always told Victoria that we don't have to worry - the people that don't like us or find us disgusting are too chicken to say anything to our face about it. Well, turns out I was wrong. Some people have had no qualms about telling us just what they think of us, right to our face. It hasn't been pleasant, but it's been eye-opening, which is important. I have a better sense of what we are up against, and I think I have a better idea of how best to approach issues going forward. We'll have to see though.

I talked to Victoria during lunch today and she said they had the worst interaction yet this morning. It was so bad she didn't even want to talk about it. "I wrote everything down, you can read it when you get to the booth," she told me. I do worry about her being at the booth during the day. Isn't that crazy? I know Tony is there, and I take comfort in that, but I had a bad feeling about today, which is why I called her. Turns out I was right. I suppose I'll find out what happened tonight when I get there.

Some surprises - this is turning out to be longer than I thought, so I'll end with a wrap up of some of the things that have surprised me. First, a lot of people see our sign and come up to us to ask "Ok, so are you FOR or AGAINST gay people?" I think we need t-shirts with our logo on the front and "We're FOR gay people!" on the back. Second, some people - both allies and opponents - don't seem to understand how the "gay" and "straight" pieces work together. One lesbian asked me angrily "why do you have 'straight' on there?" Third, the DGSCA logo, which features a cross with a pink triangle and a rainbow, has gotten a lot of attention. "Wait, you're gay AND you're christian? How does that work?" Or from someone less curious, "This makes us all look bad!"

Ok, well on that note I'll take a break for now. Thanks to everyone who has stopped by and shown their support. Victoria is right - it makes all the difference!

Day 5 at the Fair

2008-07-25T08:30:00.002-04:00

I was too tired to write last night so I'll try to get everything in this morning. Yesterday--day 5--was a successful day overall. Like the other days, it was pretty slow in the morning and afternoon, but the traffic picked up in the evening.

Tony and I worked the morning and afternoon shifts. Kate and Dawn (and Alexis!) joined me for the evening. We had many friends, once again, stop by and keep us company, including Keith, Kim, Sue, Therese, Meredith, Nicole, and Adam. These visits from friends make all the difference (and they also make the time go by a lot faster!). Thanks to everyone who stopped by for their support and companionship.

We gathered 16 more FIRED cards, in addition to 12 that Dawn brought in from work. We also gathered 7 more e-mail addresses to add to our e-mail list.

Here are some tidbits from the visitors to our booth throughout the day:

"We [a lesbian couple and daughter] just moved from Knox County to Licking County. It's much better there."

"Thank you very much."

"This candy is gay." (young teen)

"We need this. My daughter really needs this."

"How do I sign up? I'm bi."

"F*** gay people." (teenage boy)

"I'm a single mom in Knox County so I understand discrimination." When speaking about gay marriage, the woman continued, "If you're lucky enough to find someone to love, then who cares [if you are the same gender]?!"

"This is so f***ing awesome that you are here. Thank you for being here." (Guess we had our fair share of explicatives today!)

And we had a few, now typical, reactions when we asked people if they knew it was legal to fire someone for being GLBT:

"Really?!"

"Yeah, that is wrong!"

Right when we were closing up for the night, we had several visitors, including two teenage girls. One of them said, "We're best friends and going to get married someday." She then looked at Kate and me with curiosity and asked, "Do you two live in Mt. Vernon." We said, "yes."
"Do you live together?"
"Yes. . . . We're partners."
The girl smiled and just kept looking at us. She finally said, "that's cute."
"Yes, we like to think so."

We are hoping for another good day at the fair today.

Day 4 at the Fair

2008-07-23T21:53:00.003-04:00

It was a very long day for me. I opened the booth at around 10:45 am and stayed until we closed the booth a little after 9:00 pm. I had several kind people join me to work the booth during the afternoon--Dawn, Robert, and Erin. Kate worked the evening shift, as always, and Dawn hung around a bit for the evening shift, too. (We gave Tony a much deserved day off today!)

Today was, by and large, a very good day. We collected 15 more FIRED cards. Our running total is now up to 56! We also received quite a few more e-mail addresses to add to the mailing list, which I should do soon.

I worked the booth by myself in the morning, and the first encounter was a positive one. A woman who works at another booth (the Kid's Place) took some Equality Ohio materials and filled out a FIRED card. Another visitor came with his wife from the Covenant Church and asked for information. I am pretty sure that is a conservative church so I was on guard a bit, but it was a civil encounter. The man and his wife were polite and kind to me. At one point I told him that some members of our organizations are Christians who believe that god loves everybody, and he agreed with me on that. Overall, I would say it was a positive encounter.

As in the past days, we have had many young people approach our booth. Here are some of the things the young people said:

"What are you all about?"

"Gay-Straight Alliance . . . Does that mean you are for gay marriage?" (After we explained that we are for equal rights for everybody and also told him about the inequities regarding employment/housing/public accommodations, he thanked us.

"What can we do to help? Can we volunteer?"

Seeing so many young people who think for themselves and care about these inequities gives me a great deal of hope for the future.

We also had a visit from Dylan McCament, a staff reporter for the Mount Vernon News. I hope we get some additional publicity, and if so, I hope that he consults us for more information. He took some of our literature, but did not stay long.

Here were some interesting responses to when we asked people if they knew it is still legal to fire someone for being GLBT:

"I'm sorry I am laughing, but I can't believe that!"

"Shut up! Of course I'll sign the card."

"Oh yeah. That's just ridiculous. It's 2008!"

And here some additional comments we heard throughout the day:

"Well, cool!"

"Our friend from Loudonville is gay and Brazilian, and he just could not take it here anymore in Ohio because he found it so oppressive. He now lives in Texas."

"What are you all about? My brother-in-law is a cross dresser. . . . I'm doing this for him. . . . He's just gorgeous."

"What is all this? Are you all homosexuals? . . . I didn't know that [you can be refused service in a restaurant] 'cause we go to the mall all the time. . . . Well there's that one guy who says he doesn't mind 'those kind of people'."

"I love gay people. My dad's gay."

"Can I have some materials? We're about 200 years behind on this stuff."

"Thank you! You two have a really nice day at the fair."

"That's interesting!"

And my favorite, which really made my day better:
"You're the ones really doing god's work. Thank you for fighting the fight."

I'd be lying if I said every response today was positive, however; we did encounter one group of three unkind women. Upon looking at the Delaware Gay-Straight Christian Alliance poster (the logo consists of an upside-down pink triangle juxtaposed with a cross and a rainbow), one lady said: "that makes us all look bad" (referring to 'us' as Christians, I presume). Then another lady looked us in the eyes and said, "Terrible. It's a sin and it's wrong." We said nothing as they walked away. Although words can sting, I know in my heart that we are doing what is right and the problem lies within them, not us. It is un-Christlike to say unkind things like that to people. I find it hypocritical.

We had many visitors today that were friends of those of us working the booth. I can't express how wonderful it is to have allies, both straight and gay, visit us during our long shifts.

As each day continues, I feel more and more certain that the work we are doing is incredibly important and making a big difference. We have had so many wonderful experiences, and I am grateful to be a small part of this effort. Until tomorrow!

Some notes to add from Kate's notebook

2008-07-23T09:48:00.003-04:00

I have a bit of time before I have to leave this morning to open the fair booth so I thought I would add some of the quotations Kate wrote in her notebook as she worked the booth last night. Here goes:

The Baptists from the booth next to ours came by and approached our booth asking "What do you have to do to get to heaven?" They conversed with Tony for 10-15 minutes. From what I understand the conversation was civil and polite. Here are some things they said during the conversation, which Kate wrote down: "I don't have the right to re-write the bible. We teach the truth that is in that bible. . . . If you go to my website, you'll see right on the front of our page how my church feels about homosexuality. . . . God has preserved his word for us."

Other visitors to the booth said:

"Is this the fist time you've been here? Wow. Something like this in Knox County--that's so cool!"

"My parents are both Pentecostal, and I'm the gay one in the family."

"Thank you so much. It's a good thing you guys are doing."

A young man and his girlfriend stopped by. He said, "My friend would be mad if she saw this. She tried to start a GSA at our school (Mt. Vernon HS) and she was turned down each time by this one teacher. She finally gave up when they wouldn't let same-sex couples at prom." Tony replied, "Well, by the time you're my age all this will be in the history books." The young man said, "If I have it my way, it'll be in the history books next year 'cause its illegal and they can't stop us."

One woman talked about the rainbow and how it's a secret way to show other lesbians you are gay.

An East Knox HS teacher stopped by for information and said, "There has been some interest by the students in this at the school lately."

Another passer by said, "This is different for Knox County."

Well, I am looking forward to working the booth today. I am hoping for a good one!

Day 3 at the Fair

2008-07-22T21:53:00.004-04:00

We had a very good day today. Tony and I arrived around 10:30. We had very little traffic in the morning and early afternoon, but it picked up after 2:00. We had many welcome visitors to our booth today: our friends from the First Congregational UCC--Keith, Erin, Robin and Isaac--stopped by and sat with us for awhile. It was really comforting to have such kind company throughout the afternoon. Penny also worked the booth with Tony and me for part of the afternoon.

Here is a sample of the responses of today's passers by when asked if they knew it was legal to fire someone in Ohio because of one's sexual orientation or gender identity and whether they would fill out a FIRED card:

"Oh yeah. . . . I'd be happy to sign a card."

"It's disgusting [that you can be fired for being gay]! Yes, I'll fill this out. Can I have three more for my family to fill out?"

Here are some other comments we heard throughout the afternoon:

"My godson just came out last year. . . . Grassroots is not my grass, but everyone's grass. . . . Thanks so much for what you are doing. I wish you the best of luck."

"Thanks. I hope you have many good conversations."

"We've been here for several days and passed by your booth. We were curious what this is all about. . . . Some people at my church are against [homosexuality] but I'd like to learn more about the issues." (These young visitors stayed for some time and took some of our literature. It is affirming to see so many young people thinking for themselves and recognizing how important equal rights are.)

One visitor to our booth recited a poem by memory that moved all of us (I'm still trying to figure out its proper attribution):

"Safe are those that slumber beneath Conviction's roof.
Their floors are sturdy lumber, their windows weatherproof.
But I sleep cold forever and cold sleep all my kind,
Born nakedly to shiver in the draft of an open mind."

Another repeat visitor, a high school student, came to our booth and recalled some of his negative experiences with one now notorious middle school teacher. The young man once wore a gay pride shirt to school and the teacher said to him, "God does not like gays." It is no wonder why the suicide rate is so high for GLBT youth!

We also delighted in the fact that we received several donations throughout the day.

I left the booth today a little after 5:00. I know that Kate, Tony, and Keith worked the booth during the evening so they may have more to add.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by today and those of you who have sent me such kind messages by e-mail and on this blog. I am really pleased with the work we are doing. I have not felt this purposeful in a long time.

Knox County Fair: Day 2

2008-07-21T20:05:00.000-04:00

Well, I hate to admit it, but I am not feeling quite as pumped as I felt yesterday. It has been a long and interesting day. . . . When I arrived at 10 am, Tony had already set up the booth (it looked fabulous, as always!). Tony had many positive things to report from last night after I had left for the night. We had over 20 FIRED cards signed and ready to mail to legislators, and almost ten new e-mail addresses to add to our mailing list.

Unfortunately, a little later this morning we encountered our first combative individual. A lady walking by looked at our signs, paused, and then asked us "How can you have a cross and 'gay' on the same sign?" Tony replied, "You can be gay and Christian." She said, "No, you can't." This went on for a bit--she started talking about Adam and Eve and at one point said, "Men don't fit with men." (Clearly she does not understand that there are more things that go into a meaningful relationship besides how body parts physically fit together or not, and that too is debatable!) Tony rebutted with some questions dealing with genetics: "What race were Adam and Eve? What color were their eyes? Were they right- or left-handed?" to which the lady replied, "That doesn't matter." And Tony responded, "Neither does a person's orientation, which is a genetic trait." And the discussion continued, getting a bit more tense and heated. . . . At one point the woman said "I'm a Christian" to which Tony replied, "I am too." She then said, "No, you're not." The entire interaction was unproductive and disappointing. She was really awful to us, and the whole thing made me angry. She was with maybe ten kids and another lady who was also really unkind to us--she smirked and rolled her eyes and told us to go ask the Jehovah's Witnesses why people can't be gay and Christian.

I must admit the exchange depressed me. The last thing I want is for combative people to chew us out. We are here to provide information and answer questions, to bring visibility to the GLBT folks in this area and the issues that affect us most. We are not here to take verbal abuse from ignorant and belligerent people. A bit after this incident, another passer by read our sign aloud "Gay-Straight Alliance. . . . oh my." At that point I was starting to wonder if having a fair booth was the right thing to do after all. Tony asked me afterward how I would have responded to the combative woman (he had done all the talking; I remained silent in disbelief). And honestly, I have no idea how I would have responded. I am not at all confrontational, and I don't think I possess the emotional energy to deal with those kinds of attitudes.

So after a rough morning, things got better, and we had a splendid afternoon. Larry and Penny joined us in the afternoon and Kate took over in the evening after Penny had left. Here are some stories and quotations from the visitors we had this afternoon:

"What's this all about? Oh, OK. Yeah, God loves everybody." This visitor asked us all about the significance of rainbow flags and the upside-down triangle. After our five-minute exchange she thanked us, replied genuinely, "Oh very interesting!" and went on her way. The positive experience was just what I needed to lift my spirits after dealing with the lunatics earlier.

A little after 1 pm, we noticed a teenage girl who stopped at our booth, dropped her jaw, and said enthusiastically, "I love it!" Also during the one-o-clock hour, the Deputy Sheriff came by asking who we were and wanting more information.

A lady came by and said, "My lesbian friend has a t-shirt that says 'some of my best friends are straight'." We got a good laugh out of that one!

Another reacting to our materials on the equal housing and employment act: "It is legal [to fire someone because they are gay]? I did not know that."

Another visitor came by and said, "I'm curious. . . . What is this about?" After we explained about our organizations, we got into a conversation about the equal housing and employment act. She said, "It does not matter whether you are gay or straight. All that matters is whether or not you can do your job." (Amen!)

Two teenagers came by. One said, "My mom is gay. I'm adopted, and my dad is gay too. Some people can't understand that." She also talked about the GSA being denied by the principal at the local high school.

At one point we had a very skeptical visitor. She asked, in disbelief, "And you're for gays? I'm confused." This woman could not fathom why we would be in support of GLBT folks and equal rights. Although I had braced myself for the worst, we had a nice conversation. She really seemed to listen to what we had to say, and I would like to think we planted a seed for her to grow and understand GLBT issues and people a bit better. She asked early on if we all were gay. (She could not understand why straight people would be at a booth that believes in equal rights for GLBT people. We tried to help her understand.) Larry and I were silent, but Penny and Tony spoke about how they are straight allies who believe that gay people are treated unfairly. Penny was especially effective here. She said, "I have two daughters. One is gay and one is straight. Both have great jobs, have devoted life partners, and pay taxes. Do you think I am going to love one daughter more than the other just because she is straight?" This seemed to really make an impact with the visitor. She left our booth, still admittedly confused, but she took our literature and agreed with us that people should not judge other people regardless.

Then we heard more supportive comments from other passers by throughout the rest of the afternoon:

"I saw you guys in the Gay Pride Parade."

"My partner and I have been together 24 years."

"I like this booth--don't tell anybody (no one knows)."

So I guess, all in all, it wasn't a bad day. But I am emotionally exhausted. This kind of work is very important, but difficult. Still, I am glad to be a part of this wonderful organization and to hopefully be making a difference in the hearts and minds of my neighbors in Knox County. And we have had many more positive interactions than negative, so that is definitely good!

Our first day at the Knox County Fair

2008-07-20T22:06:00.000-04:00

I am so pumped! We had an incredible first day hosting the Gay-Straight Alliance booth at the Knox County Fair. There were three of us--Tony, Kate, and me--manning the booth today. I have been inspired to set up this new blog to commemorate the experience and share the many wonderful exchanges we had with visitors during the event. Here is a sample of some of the things that we heard today as people approached our table:

"I'm so glad you are here. . . . I did not know we had anything like this."

"My sister is gay."

"I have a friend who is gay."

"A lot of people in my family are gay. My mom and my aunt are gay. Another aunt I have is bisexual."

"I saw you in the Pride Parade and I thought, 'how cool, I did not know there was anything like that in Knox County.'"

"I like your rainbow."

"I have a lot of gay and lesbian friends. . . . It is a shame people can be so ignorant. . . . Thank you for being here."

"I'm so glad you're here."

"This is so cool."

One man shared his story having lived in the closet for the past ten years and is just now coming to terms with living as who he truly is.

A youngster who attends East Knox HS was delighted to see our booth and told us of the difficulties he faced in trying to set up a GSA at his school.

Many of our fair booth neighbors came by and introduced themselves before the crowds showed up. All were so kind and supportive.

We also gathered at least five new e-mail addresses to add to our main mailing list and some ten FIRED cards (an initiative spearheaded by Equality Ohio).

Overall, I think it was a great start to the fair week.