Saturday, July 26, 2008

Friday Night at the Fair - Notes from Kate

While Victoria was off getting dinner I had a couple of interactions that I thought I should share. I apologize in advance - this is longer than I intended.

First we had a few supportive people stop by the booth to chat and get information. "Thank you for being here," one person said. Another told a story of her friend, a lesbian. "I have a lesbian friend who has a son and she's afraid to put him in the Boy Scouts because if they find out about her they can kick him out. That's crap! Don't get me started...thank you for the information." Another stopped by and asked if we were a new group in town: "Are you new, I haven't seen this before?" After we explained to her that it's still legal in Ohio to fire someone based on their sexual orientation or gender identity her jaw dropped and she said, "Are you shitting me? I'm sorry, I moved here from California, so I just don't understand what the problem is." There is a real need for education on these issues in town - I feel good that the Knox County GSA, the DGSCA and Equality Ohio are all present at the fair to do some of that educating. I think many more people would be supportive of the EHEA if they knew the facts and saw that it is an issue of fairness.

Speaking of which, I told Victoria as I was driving to the fair that I planned on asking the next religious person who stopped by how they feel about the Equal Housing and Employment Act. After all, whether or not someone thinks the "behavior" is wrong or a sin shouldn't impact how they feel about the bills that have been introduced. I didn't realize I would get my chance last night.

A woman in a long denim skirt from the booth next door (the Mount Vernon Baptist Temple) came up to me and said, "Where do you find it in the bible that it's ok to be a lesbian?" I told her I wasn't really concerned with that and she just looked at me for a while. Then she said, "Well, what church are you affiliated with?" I told her there were three groups at the table and that none of them were affiliated with any one church. The Delaware Gay Straight Christian Alliance in Delaware consists of Christians from various churches in the area that believe in fairness for all and have inclusive worship services - but they aren't affiliated with any one church. She looked long and hard again and then invited me to come to her church where they could "straighten me out." "You don't have to be that way," she said. "You don't have to be a lesbian." I told her I appreciated her coming over here and speaking to me, and that I know she feels like she is just trying to help me, but I'm fine the way I am and don't need to be fixed.

Then I said that I don't come at this issue from a religious perspective, but that I am interested in things from a political point of view. I asked her if she knew you could be fired in Ohio just for being GLBT. She didn't know that. I asked if she knew we could be denied housing or service in a restaurant. She didn't know that. I then asked her if she thought that was fair. She balked a little bit, hemmed and hawed, and then said I would be welcome at her church. I said I appreciated that, but I asked again, "Do you think it's fair that I could be fired just for being a lesbian? Even if I do a great job at work I could be fired just for being gay." She finally conceded, "No, that's not fair, it shouldn't make a difference. But you don't have to be that way." I asked her if she would fill out a FIRED card saying she thought it was unfair and she said, "No, I don't think I should be signing anything." Then she invited me to her church again. "You see, you would be welcome at our church, but you couldn't be active in our church." I have to admit, that sort of confused me, so I asked what "active" meant. She said, "Oh well you could come in and sit down and listen to the pastor, but you wouldn't be allowed to sing or participate in any way." Scott then spoke up and said he is studying to become a minister. He said the First Congregational UCC church in town is supportive of GLBT people and is an open and affirming church. She said, "Oh the UCC? Yeah, they accept it. But it's wrong." And then she walked away. While Scott was talking with her I noticed there were two young girls at the table and I asked them if they had any questions. They said "no" and I could tell they were listening to what the woman had to say. When she left one of the girls said those people make her crazy.

After a few minutes (and after Victoria came back with her dinner) the woman came back to get another Soulforce pamphlet and some more information about the DGSCA. She told me this is my choice and she said after I die it's my choice where I end up. I thanked her again for stopping by and she left.

Overall it was a polite interaction. I'm glad I got to talk to her about the EHEA and I'm sure she was happy she got to share her perspective with me.

Before going to bed last night we watched a short movie called "20 Straws" that was about (and I think made by) GLBT youth in Columbus. One of the young men in the film said, "I can't hate those people that hate me for being gay. That would make me a hypocrite. I have to love those people for who they are if I am going to ask them to love me for who I am." It was a good message to hear after a long day and a long week. We have one more day to go and I am going to try to keep that in mind.

1 comment:

Joe said...

Just want to let you know how proud I am of you guys. I thank you for what you're doing for my world, and my wife and son's.

And for the record, I think your logo makes "us" all look good. (Get me started on equal marriage rights as a freedom of religion issue someday.)

Let me know how to get involved.