Day 5 at the Fair (Thursday 30 July 2009)

Here is a note from Kim and Tony who worked in the morning together:

at noon: An Asian woman, walking hand-in-hand with her aging mother, told use about her gay cousin who had tried more than once to commit suicide. She was amazed by the suicide statistics on the signs. They are from Holmes County and said they know about being different. Then the mother stepped up and said haltingly, "I have Alzheimer's and people look at me sometimes they stare and that hurts." We had a good talk about how it feels to be different and how it hurts when others don't accept us.

I joined Kim and Tony at 3:00 and was soon joined by Larry. Here are the notes from our interactions during the afternoon:

3:15 pm A lady passed by, read one of Larry's signs, and had a strange, disapproving look on her face. Tony said, "It's terrible how hate can hurt people" and she just looked disapprovingly and walked away.

3:25 pm A man named Ted Ryan from the booth across the way ("The Wordless Book") came by and introduced himself to Tony. He said "Jesus forgives sin but have to stop sinning." He and Tony talked for a bit and the man eventually wandered back to his tent.

3:52 pm Three teenage girls stared at us from maybe 15 feet away. One said "that's disgusting" and then they laughed at us.

During a lull in the four o-clock hour, Larry copied down a list of things that had been said to him by some cantankerous religious men on Tuesday (this was when I had heard too much, lost it and left the booth just to come back 40 minutes later to hear it STILL going on):

1. "Sex between a man and woman is for procreation only."
2. "Sex between 2 men or 2 women is an act of lust."
3. "Allowing marriage between 2 men or 2 women will lead to individuals marrying animals."
4. "Gays choose their orientation and need to pray for change. If change does not happen, a family member must take charge and prevent the individual from committing sexual sin."
5. When asked what he would do if his child was to gay, he said, "First of all, a child of his would not be born gay, as God would not permit such--however if that would happen, prayer would change him."
6. "All men and women can have children--and if that does not happen, the would-be parents are not praying correctly."
7. "Children who are born unwanted will be taken care of by God just like the birds of the field. I take care of my own family [and not other people's children] and that is what counts."
8. "Abomination applies only to gay people--especially those involved in sexual relations."
9. "Some Bibles are wrong. My bible is right. God wrote it."
10. While this confrontation was going on, a lady came by and told these men to get away from our booth as we are "vile people."
11. We also received some sneers and looks of objection!

Thank goodness we did not encounter this same level of hate on Thursday, but we did have some interesting discussions with more religious folk (this time, more civil and polite conversations) later in the evening. I was very happy to work with Kate when she arrived for the evening shift (we have not seen much of each other this week!). Larry worked with us as well and even treated us to smoothies near the end of the night, which were a treat! Here are some notes from the rest of the evening:

4:30 pm A young man (perhaps in his 20s?)--an adamant agnostic (my kind of person)--stopped by, asked us about our organization, signed up for the email list, and took literature. We had a fairly long conversation with him. What an interesting, articulate, and smart fellow! He asked specifically about the "Bible thumpers" and we told him about some of our experiences. He also said, "Four years ago I would have been one of them." It is nice to know that people have the ability to change and become more open-minded as they experience life.

4:45 pm A lesbian stopped by and said she had seen our fliers for the Pride event and the April Gay Jeopardy Game in Kroger (nice to know our publicity system works!). She took some literature and signed up for our email list. She said her friends in Columbus couldn't believe that there was a GSA in Knox County.

4:56 pm A group of young kids (12-14) walked past, and a boy read the sign, "Knox County Gay-Straight Alliance . . . I'm very straight. I am not gay."

5:18 pm A lady stopped by with her kids, took some literature, and signed up for our email list.

5:20 pm The Mullendores stopped by :). We got to meet their son, Seth.

5:25 pm Ted Ryan (the man from the Wordless Book booth) came back to our booth, and a 25-minute conversation ensued. He said he didn't want to argue but took issue with Larry's sign that read, "We are all children of God." He showed Larry a verse in the Bible that he construed to mean that you are not a child of god unless you are Christian and accept Jesus as your savior. He did eventually admit that God created us all and said, "but we aren't living the way we should." Larry agreed that none of us are perfect.

Then he told us a story about how he and his religious friends wet to protest a strip club in Mansfield, and how the strip club people kept quoting "Judge not lest ye be judged." He did not appreciate their quoting that passage and dismissed them. (But why were the passages that Mr. Ryan quoted somehow more valid than that one? I did not ask him that, but I wish I had.)

Kate asked him where he was from, what church he was from, and what the Wordless book was all about, to which he said it was an enterprise of "child evangelism." (And people talk about how WE want to convert CHILDREN!) Kate engaged him in another conversation on how he felt about Jewish people. He said, "I feel for them the same way I feel about you--I want to share my message about Jesus with you."

Throughout the entire conversation, he was very calm and polite, never mean, but steadfast in his convictions. I give him credit for remaining polite.

He did go on to talk about how he believed homosexuality is a sin and that people are born as sinners, attracted to sin. He gave examples of people raping people, beating their children, all because they are attracted to sin. That was when I realized that our fundamental disagreement is simple: He believes that being gay is a sin on par with other things I certainly detest--rape, murder, violence--and I believe that being gay is not a sin. I wish I had realized our simple disagreement then and said something. We could have agreed to disagree at that point and been done with it.

Larry shared his story with this man about being born gay, and Kate shared her feelings about being gay, too. I said to him that no one in their right mind would choose this.

6:23 pm Another person passing by asked us the now classic question, "Are you for gays?" Kate: "Yes." Smiling, the lady replied, "Just wanted to know, passed by earlier this week and we weren't sure." Kate: "Thanks for asking."

Soon after, teenage boys made the rock concert devil horns and gave us a whoop. Good stuff!

6:42 pm A man with his son said he gets our newsletter and is supportive. He also commented on Larry's signs, and told us a story about when he was in the military: There was a gay man named Ray who everyone called "Gay Ray" and nobody messed with him. So nice to have straight allies stop by and share their stories with us, too!

7:00 pm The Wargas stopped by the booth. Great to have such great friends! :)

7:08 A young lady stopped by and asked, "Do you have the blue and yellow [HRC] stickers? I had one on my old care but need one for my new one." She did take an EO bumper sticker, but we did not have any HRC ones.

A little later, A man asked if Dawn was here, and then told us that he was setting up a policy on sexual orientation at his church and took literature. What a nice, supportive guy!

7:35 pm My friend, the owner of Action Waste, stopped by and enthusiastically introduced me to his son, Jared. Nice folks! I highly recommend Action Waste. This company was the one who helped sponsor the Mount Vernon street clean-up project that the GSA participated in a few months ago.

7:38 pm A mysterious kid rushed by the booth and said to Larry, "I was told by the carnies to give you this" and gave hima poster of a naked woman on a beach. Hmmm. . .

7:51 pm Larry is so popular! I met more of his friends, Art and Shelly, from Faith Lutheran.

7:58 pm The mom & a friend of a friend of the GSA stopped by and gave us a donation.

8:25 pm A teenage girl named Brooklyn came by and said she had a few questions for us. She asked us what we belived regarding the Bible and Jesus, to which Kate replied: "I'm not a Christian." Larry told his story about it not being a choice. She said that the Bible shows that God says marriage is between a man and a woman. She asked, "Do you believe that God is all powerful? Then you should believe that be can change you." The conversation moved on to a discussion of biblical passages. When she was done, she politely shook Larry's hand, and she did take a Soulforce book. Hopefully she will read it.

As it got really close to closing time, two ladies we met last year stopped by to show their support, as did another small group of people. What a nice way to end the night!

I did not work Friday (today, the day I am posting this), but I heard that Larry and Kate got lambasted by two separate groups of teens. Wish I could have been there to help, but I tend to clam up anyhow and don't think of what to say until after they all leave. So stay posted, I am sure Kate will type her latest experiences soon.

Thank you for reading our blog entries, and thanks for your support.

Day 3 at the Fair (Tuesday, July 28, 2009), part I

Rissah, a local high school student, met me at 11 to work the first few hours at the fair booth this morning. Tony and Larry joined us a bit later. It was a pretty slow morning, but was had a bit more activity throughout the afternoon. I continue to be pleased with how many wonderfully supportive comments we are receiving. Here are some of the interactions we recorded in the notebook:

11:45 am A sweet man from the Main Place booth stopped by, stayed for quite awhile, read our signs, asked about buying a t-shirt, and said, “I have friends who are that way, and I don’t care. People try to tell me not to hang out with them, but they are my friends. I can choose my friends and they can choose theirs!”

12:07 pm The Nordmoes stopped by. :) Always good to see friends!

2:05 pm Three teenagers stopped by who were generally supportive. It was a good conversation overall—topics ranged from the DGSCA’s involvement has with local churches, to unfair laws and stories of a man they knew who was denied a job just because he is openly gay. I’m encouraged by the open-mindedness of our youth!

2:20 pm Two woman walked by, said “makes sense!” This came from folks who are ostensibly conservative who told us about how they are displeased that bible stories and the pledge of allegiance have been taken out of the schools. As the left, they said “good luck!” and wished us well.

2:45 pm A lady said to a man while passing by the booth: “gay . . . straight . . . gay-straight alliance . . .” as if she were reading something in a foreign language.

3:00 pm A young man from Journey Church (who moved here this past year from Memphis, Tennessee) stopped by and gave us a donation. We chatted with him for a bit. He was wearing a green t-shirt that read, “No other god but you—Journey UBS ’09.” I was really impressed by this young man. Larry asked about his church, and he said, “They are pretty accepting. They are really trying to reach out to people who typically are not inclined to go to church at all.” This sort of interaction gives me so much encouragement. First, it is nice to know that there are churches in the area that are welcoming to all people, including GLBT people. Second, it is nice to know that many of our young people, especially those whose faith is important to them, recognize that their god loves all people and that love is much better than hate.

So the day was going REALLY WELL until around 4:00. In the four o'clock hour, we encountered our first truly awful interactions involving three different sets of people. (I missed the second one entirely because I left the booth when the first group of men said something about gay relationships being less valid and stable than straight relationships. Not sure why that is what made me lose it, but that was when I had had enough. I just could not sit there and take any more of it. Thank goodness for Tony and Larry's patience with these difficult conversations. I feel like maybe I am not cut out for this kind of work after all.) So after 30 minutes or so, and I felt I had calmed myself down I walked back to the booth slowly only to find a man and a little boy going at it with Tony. It was more of the same hateful talk--"being gay is an abomination," "you aren't a real Christian," "it is there in the Bible," "you are corrupting our youth," etc. It turns out the Baptists (from the church on Yauger Road) had sent the kid up to the booth first to start preaching at us, and then the grown-up man came. Who would stoop so low as to use a kid as a pawn to spew hate? This latest interaction I happened upon put me over the edge again, unfortunately just as Robert arrived. Some happy welcome for him to the booth (it was his first shift!). Robert was sweet and comforted me, and soon after, Kate arrived. Once the evening shift was in place, Tony, Larry, and I took off for the evening.

There was one final interaction worth mentioning that happened right before I left. A girl came up to Robert and asked, "Did you tell my brother it is okay to be gay? Because it is not. It is against our religion." Robert asked her, "Well, what if your brother turned out to be gay? Wouldn't you want him to know he is okay?" I guess not all of our youth are as progressive as I would like to think they are.

I heard that Robert took copious notes the rest of the evening so I will try to type those up while I work at the booth today and post them tomorrow. Thanks to all of our allies who have stopped by our booth and shown support. It makes a big difference!

Knox County Fair: Day 2

Well, I hate to admit it, but I am not feeling quite as pumped as I felt yesterday. It has been a long and interesting day. . . . When I arrived at 10 am, Tony had already set up the booth (it looked fabulous, as always!). Tony had many positive things to report from last night after I had left for the night. We had over 20 FIRED cards signed and ready to mail to legislators, and almost ten new e-mail addresses to add to our mailing list.

Unfortunately, a little later this morning we encountered our first combative individual. A lady walking by looked at our signs, paused, and then asked us "How can you have a cross and 'gay' on the same sign?" Tony replied, "You can be gay and Christian." She said, "No, you can't." This went on for a bit--she started talking about Adam and Eve and at one point said, "Men don't fit with men." (Clearly she does not understand that there are more things that go into a meaningful relationship besides how body parts physically fit together or not, and that too is debatable!) Tony rebutted with some questions dealing with genetics: "What race were Adam and Eve? What color were their eyes? Were they right- or left-handed?" to which the lady replied, "That doesn't matter." And Tony responded, "Neither does a person's orientation, which is a genetic trait." And the discussion continued, getting a bit more tense and heated. . . . At one point the woman said "I'm a Christian" to which Tony replied, "I am too." She then said, "No, you're not." The entire interaction was unproductive and disappointing. She was really awful to us, and the whole thing made me angry. She was with maybe ten kids and another lady who was also really unkind to us--she smirked and rolled her eyes and told us to go ask the Jehovah's Witnesses why people can't be gay and Christian.

I must admit the exchange depressed me. The last thing I want is for combative people to chew us out. We are here to provide information and answer questions, to bring visibility to the GLBT folks in this area and the issues that affect us most. We are not here to take verbal abuse from ignorant and belligerent people. A bit after this incident, another passer by read our sign aloud "Gay-Straight Alliance. . . . oh my." At that point I was starting to wonder if having a fair booth was the right thing to do after all. Tony asked me afterward how I would have responded to the combative woman (he had done all the talking; I remained silent in disbelief). And honestly, I have no idea how I would have responded. I am not at all confrontational, and I don't think I possess the emotional energy to deal with those kinds of attitudes.

So after a rough morning, things got better, and we had a splendid afternoon. Larry and Penny joined us in the afternoon and Kate took over in the evening after Penny had left. Here are some stories and quotations from the visitors we had this afternoon:

"What's this all about? Oh, OK. Yeah, God loves everybody." This visitor asked us all about the significance of rainbow flags and the upside-down triangle. After our five-minute exchange she thanked us, replied genuinely, "Oh very interesting!" and went on her way. The positive experience was just what I needed to lift my spirits after dealing with the lunatics earlier.

A little after 1 pm, we noticed a teenage girl who stopped at our booth, dropped her jaw, and said enthusiastically, "I love it!" Also during the one-o-clock hour, the Deputy Sheriff came by asking who we were and wanting more information.

A lady came by and said, "My lesbian friend has a t-shirt that says 'some of my best friends are straight'." We got a good laugh out of that one!

Another reacting to our materials on the equal housing and employment act: "It is legal [to fire someone because they are gay]? I did not know that."

Another visitor came by and said, "I'm curious. . . . What is this about?" After we explained about our organizations, we got into a conversation about the equal housing and employment act. She said, "It does not matter whether you are gay or straight. All that matters is whether or not you can do your job." (Amen!)

Two teenagers came by. One said, "My mom is gay. I'm adopted, and my dad is gay too. Some people can't understand that." She also talked about the GSA being denied by the principal at the local high school.

At one point we had a very skeptical visitor. She asked, in disbelief, "And you're for gays? I'm confused." This woman could not fathom why we would be in support of GLBT folks and equal rights. Although I had braced myself for the worst, we had a nice conversation. She really seemed to listen to what we had to say, and I would like to think we planted a seed for her to grow and understand GLBT issues and people a bit better. She asked early on if we all were gay. (She could not understand why straight people would be at a booth that believes in equal rights for GLBT people. We tried to help her understand.) Larry and I were silent, but Penny and Tony spoke about how they are straight allies who believe that gay people are treated unfairly. Penny was especially effective here. She said, "I have two daughters. One is gay and one is straight. Both have great jobs, have devoted life partners, and pay taxes. Do you think I am going to love one daughter more than the other just because she is straight?" This seemed to really make an impact with the visitor. She left our booth, still admittedly confused, but she took our literature and agreed with us that people should not judge other people regardless.

Then we heard more supportive comments from other passers by throughout the rest of the afternoon:

"I saw you guys in the Gay Pride Parade."

"My partner and I have been together 24 years."

"I like this booth--don't tell anybody (no one knows)."

So I guess, all in all, it wasn't a bad day. But I am emotionally exhausted. This kind of work is very important, but difficult. Still, I am glad to be a part of this wonderful organization and to hopefully be making a difference in the hearts and minds of my neighbors in Knox County. And we have had many more positive interactions than negative, so that is definitely good!