Last Day at the Fair

It was incredibly nice to sleep in yesterday and know that we are done with the fair for this year. I took a little more time before posting this entry because I had so much I wanted to say. The entire experience has been remarkable. I am very glad I had this opportunity to try to open the minds and hearts of our fellow Ohioans. (Kate came up with that phrase "opening minds and hearts" on Saturday while we were working; we thought it might make a nice slogan for the Knox GSA.)

Saturday, our last day at the fair, was both challenging and rewarding. Kate and I worked the booth in the morning. Sue, Therese, and their three wonderful children worked the booth with us for most of the afternoon and early evening. They brought a crock pot full of delicious creamed chicken, which was the best meal I have had all week! We have amazing friends. Dawn and Alexis also worked the booth with us during the afternoon, and Kim came by in the evening to help. I am grateful for all of the help these generous people have given us. Thank you!

I have found that as the week progressed, more and more people were feeling comfortable approaching our booth, particularly those who were not so friendly. Still, we had a number of sympathetic visitors yesterday, too. Here is a sample of our experiences, both positive and negative:

A man approached the booth, and said "Explain to me what 'gay-straight' is."
Kate: "It means we are a group of straight and gay people who believe in equality."
Man: "Equality, huh? Well, why is there a cross on that sign?" (He was referring to the DGSCA logo.)
Kate: "We are three organizations. That is the Delaware Gay-Straight Christian Alliance, which is a group of both gay and straight Christians who believe in equality for gay and straight people."
Man: "Those words, 'gay-straight' shouldn't go with 'Christian.'"
Kate: "'Straight' shouldn't go with 'Christian'?"
Man: "No, 'straight' and 'Christian' is fine. 'Gay' and 'Christian' is wrong. It's right there in the bible. It's wrong." Then the man walked away.
I guess the best part of this encounter was that another person passing by, who overheard the conversation, put his hands to his head and made a "nah-nah-nee-boo-boo" gesture (yes, very mature) toward the man who was walking away. I hate to admit it, but that made us feel a lot better!

During the one o'clock hour, a woman wearing an "I-support-John-Freshwater--GOD" t-shirt came by with a bootleg printout of bible verses that she wanted me to give to Tony. She said that Tony had told her that her translation of the bible was wrong and that she was following up with him. The funny thing is that nowhere on the printout does it explain anything about her translations, and I am pretty sure that someone just did a hasty search on the internet to compile the information. Funnier still, another lady (a friend of this visitor), came by in the evening with a copy of the same printout, typos and all. I would post a copy of it online just to show these people's idiocy, but that would not be very kind.

We finally had our first positive encounter around 1:30 when a young lady from a local Christian radio station approached our booth. At this point, I had braced myself for the worst; I simply assumed she was stopping at our booth to tell us that homosexuality is wrong. But, fortunately, it turns out I was mistaken. This lady told us that she found out about last month's Pride Celebration Potluck and had wanted to promote it on the radio station, but her superiors would not allow her to do that. She argued, "Well you know, Jesus is going to be at that potluck!"
(Along the same lines, I'd like to think that if Jesus were still around today, he would have been sitting with us at our Knox GSA booth, wearing Birkenstock sandals and helping us educate others!)
The young lady told us that personally she has been conflicted between the constraints of the Nazarene and her compassion for her gay friends and her knowledge of the struggles they have experienced. She stayed awhile longer and continued to talk to us. It was an uplifting conversation. She mentioned that she entered the Mt. Vernon Nazarene University as a conservative Christian and now she is a more open-minded democrat. She also told us that there are many gay students at the Naz. Her theory is that parents will often send their gay children there in hope that can be changed. She said that she has hope for the future at the Naz, that it is changing because more and more open-minded people are coming into the church. She also mentioned, as evidence of this, that recently they changed the manual to allow social drinking. (The ban on dancing was lifted some 20 years ago.)

The sad and ironic thing about this wonderful encounter is that prejudged her simply because I saw her wearing a MVNU radio station shirt and had assumed the worst. I admitted this and apologized to her before she left. (Just goes to show me that I need to remember not to judge others myself.) Kate said to me after she left, "That's the hope for me. A girl immersed in [conservative Christianity] can make up her mind not to treat us any differently." Her visit really made our day.

During the four o'clock hour an angry lady approached our booth: "So what do you stand for?"
Us: "Equality."
Lady: "I'm all for equality, but it is not right. Have you read the bible? Sodom and Gomorrah?" (Note the logic, or lack thereof, in the lady's words. NB Sodom and Gomorrah is about hospitality and rape, not homosexuality.)

During the five o'clock hour, a kid passing by said, "Not my kind of gay." We weren't sure how to take that.

A kind man who had been a United Methodist Minister asked us how we have been received especially in such a conservative atmosphere. He took our literature and was very supportive.

During the six o'clock hour, another man approached us and asked, "Are you for or against gays?" (This seems to be a very common question!)
Us: "For . . . we are for equality."
Man: "I could care less." He seemed disgusted and walked away.

A woman came to our table and said excitedly, "It's about time!" She seemed very glad we were here.

During the seven o'clock hour, a senior from East Knox High School said, "I love what you're doing." Kate asked if she needed information and then explained about the three groups at the booth. The senior said the students are going to speak with the principal again this year to see if they can get some sort of group started. Kate asked, "A gay-straight alliance?"
The young woman: "No, maybe something else we can get them to agree to."
Kate: "Like a diversity group or something?"
Young woman: "Yeah. We did something for the Day of Silence this past year, and over 30 kids wore buttons. Not all of them were silent, but they did wear buttons. We hope to have more people doing it this year now that there is more awareness." After the conversation, she signed up for the e-mail list and also took a pamphlet. She then went to see her friends and showed them the pamphlet.

Another girl took some candy, saw the Soulforce booklet and began flipping through it. Kate said, "You can take that if you want."
Girl: "I just want to know if homosexuals are good or bad."
Kate: "Well, I'm a homosexual, and I'd like to think I'm good."
Meredith: "She's good." (Thanks for vouching for my girlfriend, Meredith!)

Another passer by: "I'm not for or against homosexuals. I mean I have friends who are homos. I know a lot of homosexuals. . . . I just wanted some information." (I think we also need to do some educating on appropriate and inappropriate language! Most gay people I know don't like to be called homos!)

We also had some positive reactions when we asked folks if they knew people could legally be fired or denied housing just for being gay and if they would sign the FIRED cards. Here is a sample of those responses:

"You're kidding! You can be fired for that?"

"One's sexuality shouldn't matter. . . . A friend of mine got fired from major national company just for being gay."

One woman signed a FIRED card and then took 2 for her sister and brother-in-law to sign. I have been very pleased with the number of people who seemed compelled to spread the message to others.

All together, we collected 101 FIRED cards over the course of the week. That is amazing to me. Most of those who filled out the cards are Knox County residents, which gives me hope. We also have collected many e-mail addresses to add to our e-mailing list. We now have 84 subscribers all together!

Of course, I am glad now that the fair has concluded, but after reflecting yesterday on our many experiences, I feel overjoyed with the positive responses we had, in addition to our many opportunities to educate people here. This had been an incredibly powerful experience for me, and I feel fortunate to have had this amazing opportunity. I look forward to our continued presence in Knox County, at next year's fair and beyond. Thanks again to all who helped staff the booth and to friends who stopped by to show their support. We could not have done it without you!

Day 6 at the Fair

Yesterday was a long and taxing day. I kept notes throughout the day. Tony and I encountered our first visitor at 11:15, and it happened to be a hateful person. A day at the fair just would not be complete without a hateful person, now would it? Here's what happened:

Man: "What is this?"
Me: "Three organizations--The Delaware Gay-Straight Christian Alliance, Equality Ohio a statewide organization, and the Knox County Gay-Straight Alliance--all of which work toward and believe in equality for all people regardless of sexual orientation."
Man: "What does 'gay-straight' mean?" At this point, I could tell the man was hostile by his body language and tone of voice.
Tony: "Both gay and straight people working together equal rights for all people."
Man: "Well, you know where those people belong . . . in a hole."
Tony: "Why do you think that? Are you frightened by gay people?"
Man: "Yes, they don't have to be that way."

The exchange continued, and the man eventually said he wasn't frightened, but mad. He also said at one point that all gay people should be drowned. Ouch.

He also asked Tony, "Which part of the 'gay-straight' are you on?"
Tony: "Straight."
Man: "That's the right side to be on."

The exchange continued. I remained silent. The exchange ended with Tony saying to the man, "Please go. If you want to be hateful, just go." And then he did.

Wow. This exchange really hurt me more than the others, for some reason. Perhaps it is just the exhaustion of this entire endeavor, the cumulative effect of the handful of hateful things we've witnessed. It takes a toll.

Kate was saying yesterday that up until this past week she had believed that even if people thought mean things about us, they would never have the gumption to say those things to our faces. But, we've both learned that it is not the case, sadly enough.

After I wrote all of this down in my notebook yesterday morning right after it all happened, I decided that I needed to let it all go. I give these hateful people power when I engage them or allow myself to get caught up in what happened. If I can let it go, then they no longer have any power over me. Just wish it was that easy to do.

During the next few hours, Tony and I had a number of visitors to the booth, ranging from individuals simply looking for literature to folks who engaged us in meaningful conversations. One woman walked by, read the DGSCA sign and gave us a thumbs up. The deputy sheriff came by again (he stopped by earlier this week) and asked for another Soulforce pamphlet. The publication called "What the bible really says, and doesn't say, about homosexuality" is written by Mel White who was one of Jerry Falwell's speech writers until he came out as gay. This has, by far, been our most popular piece of literature. I have added a link to a .pdf of the booklet on our Knox County GSA website: http://www.knoxgsa.org-a.googlepages.com/downloadablematerials

Here are some of the things people said to us throughout the afternoon:

"My brother-in-law- lives in Indiana. He's a lawyer and for the longest time was afraid to be out at work. But now he is in a higher position and is out, but he was afraid for a long time."

"My good friend is bi, and I had lots of friends in high school that are gay. I knew it before some of them did!"

"This is cool. I've got two moms."

During the one o'clock hour, a man came up to the table and said in a combative tone, "What's this 'gay-straight' about? I heard you're here and wanted to know what this is all about. Tell me quickly." So I gave him a brief explanation, something along the lines of "basically straight and gay people who believe in equality for all people." he asked us if we promote homosexuality and we said no, we promote equal treatment for all. The conversation continued for a few minutes. The guy finally left and said, "I have to get going otherwise someone might think I'm gay. . . . Just kidding . . ." I think he was only half kidding.

Before Tony left around 2:30, we both had marveled at the looks of cognitive dissonance in the eyes of many passers by. I worked the booth by myself until Scott came by a little after 3:00. He witnessed quite a bit during his first hour at the booth. One boy called him a fag, which is interesting particularly because Scott is straight. Another teenage boy approached the table and asked, "Have you seen two lesbians have sex? Because I think it is hot." We said nothing. He persisted, "Have you? I really want to know." Some of these kids have a lot of growing up to do. Another teenage boy, a cowboy in training it seems, approached the table, spit on the ground, and asked "What's this all about?" When we told him, he shook his head and went back to his friends.

A few other folks stopped by, and we had encounters that were much more positive. But, by the time 9:00 pm rolled around, I was definitely ready to go home! We have just one more day at the fair--today--and it will be a long one. We cannot close our booth until after 11:00 pm so it is a good thing we were able to sleep in longer than normal this morning.

I took a short break last night, and evidently we had some more interesting visitors while I was gone. Kate took notes, and I imagine she will add her experiences to this blog soon.

Thanks again to all who have helped and visited us during the day. Kim joined us for a while in the evening, and it always makes such a difference to have supportive friends to help pass the time.

Day 4 at the Fair

It was a very long day for me. I opened the booth at around 10:45 am and stayed until we closed the booth a little after 9:00 pm. I had several kind people join me to work the booth during the afternoon--Dawn, Robert, and Erin. Kate worked the evening shift, as always, and Dawn hung around a bit for the evening shift, too. (We gave Tony a much deserved day off today!)

Today was, by and large, a very good day. We collected 15 more FIRED cards. Our running total is now up to 56! We also received quite a few more e-mail addresses to add to the mailing list, which I should do soon.

I worked the booth by myself in the morning, and the first encounter was a positive one. A woman who works at another booth (the Kid's Place) took some Equality Ohio materials and filled out a FIRED card. Another visitor came with his wife from the Covenant Church and asked for information. I am pretty sure that is a conservative church so I was on guard a bit, but it was a civil encounter. The man and his wife were polite and kind to me. At one point I told him that some members of our organizations are Christians who believe that god loves everybody, and he agreed with me on that. Overall, I would say it was a positive encounter.

As in the past days, we have had many young people approach our booth. Here are some of the things the young people said:

"What are you all about?"

"Gay-Straight Alliance . . . Does that mean you are for gay marriage?" (After we explained that we are for equal rights for everybody and also told him about the inequities regarding employment/housing/public accommodations, he thanked us.

"What can we do to help? Can we volunteer?"

Seeing so many young people who think for themselves and care about these inequities gives me a great deal of hope for the future.

We also had a visit from Dylan McCament, a staff reporter for the Mount Vernon News. I hope we get some additional publicity, and if so, I hope that he consults us for more information. He took some of our literature, but did not stay long.

Here were some interesting responses to when we asked people if they knew it is still legal to fire someone for being GLBT:

"I'm sorry I am laughing, but I can't believe that!"

"Shut up! Of course I'll sign the card."

"Oh yeah. That's just ridiculous. It's 2008!"

And here some additional comments we heard throughout the day:

"Well, cool!"

"Our friend from Loudonville is gay and Brazilian, and he just could not take it here anymore in Ohio because he found it so oppressive. He now lives in Texas."

"What are you all about? My brother-in-law is a cross dresser. . . . I'm doing this for him. . . . He's just gorgeous."

"What is all this? Are you all homosexuals? . . . I didn't know that [you can be refused service in a restaurant] 'cause we go to the mall all the time. . . . Well there's that one guy who says he doesn't mind 'those kind of people'."

"I love gay people. My dad's gay."

"Can I have some materials? We're about 200 years behind on this stuff."

"Thank you! You two have a really nice day at the fair."

"That's interesting!"

And my favorite, which really made my day better:
"You're the ones really doing god's work. Thank you for fighting the fight."

I'd be lying if I said every response today was positive, however; we did encounter one group of three unkind women. Upon looking at the Delaware Gay-Straight Christian Alliance poster (the logo consists of an upside-down pink triangle juxtaposed with a cross and a rainbow), one lady said: "that makes us all look bad" (referring to 'us' as Christians, I presume). Then another lady looked us in the eyes and said, "Terrible. It's a sin and it's wrong." We said nothing as they walked away. Although words can sting, I know in my heart that we are doing what is right and the problem lies within them, not us. It is un-Christlike to say unkind things like that to people. I find it hypocritical.

We had many visitors today that were friends of those of us working the booth. I can't express how wonderful it is to have allies, both straight and gay, visit us during our long shifts.

As each day continues, I feel more and more certain that the work we are doing is incredibly important and making a big difference. We have had so many wonderful experiences, and I am grateful to be a small part of this effort. Until tomorrow!

Day 3 at the Fair

We had a very good day today. Tony and I arrived around 10:30. We had very little traffic in the morning and early afternoon, but it picked up after 2:00. We had many welcome visitors to our booth today: our friends from the First Congregational UCC--Keith, Erin, Robin and Isaac--stopped by and sat with us for awhile. It was really comforting to have such kind company throughout the afternoon. Penny also worked the booth with Tony and me for part of the afternoon.

Here is a sample of the responses of today's passers by when asked if they knew it was legal to fire someone in Ohio because of one's sexual orientation or gender identity and whether they would fill out a FIRED card:

"Oh yeah. . . . I'd be happy to sign a card."

"It's disgusting [that you can be fired for being gay]! Yes, I'll fill this out. Can I have three more for my family to fill out?"

Here are some other comments we heard throughout the afternoon:

"My godson just came out last year. . . . Grassroots is not my grass, but everyone's grass. . . . Thanks so much for what you are doing. I wish you the best of luck."

"Thanks. I hope you have many good conversations."

"We've been here for several days and passed by your booth. We were curious what this is all about. . . . Some people at my church are against [homosexuality] but I'd like to learn more about the issues." (These young visitors stayed for some time and took some of our literature. It is affirming to see so many young people thinking for themselves and recognizing how important equal rights are.)

One visitor to our booth recited a poem by memory that moved all of us (I'm still trying to figure out its proper attribution):

"Safe are those that slumber beneath Conviction's roof.
Their floors are sturdy lumber, their windows weatherproof.
But I sleep cold forever and cold sleep all my kind,
Born nakedly to shiver in the draft of an open mind."

Another repeat visitor, a high school student, came to our booth and recalled some of his negative experiences with one now notorious middle school teacher. The young man once wore a gay pride shirt to school and the teacher said to him, "God does not like gays." It is no wonder why the suicide rate is so high for GLBT youth!

We also delighted in the fact that we received several donations throughout the day.

I left the booth today a little after 5:00. I know that Kate, Tony, and Keith worked the booth during the evening so they may have more to add.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by today and those of you who have sent me such kind messages by e-mail and on this blog. I am really pleased with the work we are doing. I have not felt this purposeful in a long time.

Knox County Fair: Day 2

Well, I hate to admit it, but I am not feeling quite as pumped as I felt yesterday. It has been a long and interesting day. . . . When I arrived at 10 am, Tony had already set up the booth (it looked fabulous, as always!). Tony had many positive things to report from last night after I had left for the night. We had over 20 FIRED cards signed and ready to mail to legislators, and almost ten new e-mail addresses to add to our mailing list.

Unfortunately, a little later this morning we encountered our first combative individual. A lady walking by looked at our signs, paused, and then asked us "How can you have a cross and 'gay' on the same sign?" Tony replied, "You can be gay and Christian." She said, "No, you can't." This went on for a bit--she started talking about Adam and Eve and at one point said, "Men don't fit with men." (Clearly she does not understand that there are more things that go into a meaningful relationship besides how body parts physically fit together or not, and that too is debatable!) Tony rebutted with some questions dealing with genetics: "What race were Adam and Eve? What color were their eyes? Were they right- or left-handed?" to which the lady replied, "That doesn't matter." And Tony responded, "Neither does a person's orientation, which is a genetic trait." And the discussion continued, getting a bit more tense and heated. . . . At one point the woman said "I'm a Christian" to which Tony replied, "I am too." She then said, "No, you're not." The entire interaction was unproductive and disappointing. She was really awful to us, and the whole thing made me angry. She was with maybe ten kids and another lady who was also really unkind to us--she smirked and rolled her eyes and told us to go ask the Jehovah's Witnesses why people can't be gay and Christian.

I must admit the exchange depressed me. The last thing I want is for combative people to chew us out. We are here to provide information and answer questions, to bring visibility to the GLBT folks in this area and the issues that affect us most. We are not here to take verbal abuse from ignorant and belligerent people. A bit after this incident, another passer by read our sign aloud "Gay-Straight Alliance. . . . oh my." At that point I was starting to wonder if having a fair booth was the right thing to do after all. Tony asked me afterward how I would have responded to the combative woman (he had done all the talking; I remained silent in disbelief). And honestly, I have no idea how I would have responded. I am not at all confrontational, and I don't think I possess the emotional energy to deal with those kinds of attitudes.

So after a rough morning, things got better, and we had a splendid afternoon. Larry and Penny joined us in the afternoon and Kate took over in the evening after Penny had left. Here are some stories and quotations from the visitors we had this afternoon:

"What's this all about? Oh, OK. Yeah, God loves everybody." This visitor asked us all about the significance of rainbow flags and the upside-down triangle. After our five-minute exchange she thanked us, replied genuinely, "Oh very interesting!" and went on her way. The positive experience was just what I needed to lift my spirits after dealing with the lunatics earlier.

A little after 1 pm, we noticed a teenage girl who stopped at our booth, dropped her jaw, and said enthusiastically, "I love it!" Also during the one-o-clock hour, the Deputy Sheriff came by asking who we were and wanting more information.

A lady came by and said, "My lesbian friend has a t-shirt that says 'some of my best friends are straight'." We got a good laugh out of that one!

Another reacting to our materials on the equal housing and employment act: "It is legal [to fire someone because they are gay]? I did not know that."

Another visitor came by and said, "I'm curious. . . . What is this about?" After we explained about our organizations, we got into a conversation about the equal housing and employment act. She said, "It does not matter whether you are gay or straight. All that matters is whether or not you can do your job." (Amen!)

Two teenagers came by. One said, "My mom is gay. I'm adopted, and my dad is gay too. Some people can't understand that." She also talked about the GSA being denied by the principal at the local high school.

At one point we had a very skeptical visitor. She asked, in disbelief, "And you're for gays? I'm confused." This woman could not fathom why we would be in support of GLBT folks and equal rights. Although I had braced myself for the worst, we had a nice conversation. She really seemed to listen to what we had to say, and I would like to think we planted a seed for her to grow and understand GLBT issues and people a bit better. She asked early on if we all were gay. (She could not understand why straight people would be at a booth that believes in equal rights for GLBT people. We tried to help her understand.) Larry and I were silent, but Penny and Tony spoke about how they are straight allies who believe that gay people are treated unfairly. Penny was especially effective here. She said, "I have two daughters. One is gay and one is straight. Both have great jobs, have devoted life partners, and pay taxes. Do you think I am going to love one daughter more than the other just because she is straight?" This seemed to really make an impact with the visitor. She left our booth, still admittedly confused, but she took our literature and agreed with us that people should not judge other people regardless.

Then we heard more supportive comments from other passers by throughout the rest of the afternoon:

"I saw you guys in the Gay Pride Parade."

"My partner and I have been together 24 years."

"I like this booth--don't tell anybody (no one knows)."

So I guess, all in all, it wasn't a bad day. But I am emotionally exhausted. This kind of work is very important, but difficult. Still, I am glad to be a part of this wonderful organization and to hopefully be making a difference in the hearts and minds of my neighbors in Knox County. And we have had many more positive interactions than negative, so that is definitely good!

Our first day at the Knox County Fair

I am so pumped! We had an incredible first day hosting the Gay-Straight Alliance booth at the Knox County Fair. There were three of us--Tony, Kate, and me--manning the booth today. I have been inspired to set up this new blog to commemorate the experience and share the many wonderful exchanges we had with visitors during the event. Here is a sample of some of the things that we heard today as people approached our table:

"I'm so glad you are here. . . . I did not know we had anything like this."

"My sister is gay."

"I have a friend who is gay."

"A lot of people in my family are gay. My mom and my aunt are gay. Another aunt I have is bisexual."

"I saw you in the Pride Parade and I thought, 'how cool, I did not know there was anything like that in Knox County.'"

"I like your rainbow."

"I have a lot of gay and lesbian friends. . . . It is a shame people can be so ignorant. . . . Thank you for being here."

"I'm so glad you're here."

"This is so cool."

One man shared his story having lived in the closet for the past ten years and is just now coming to terms with living as who he truly is.

A youngster who attends East Knox HS was delighted to see our booth and told us of the difficulties he faced in trying to set up a GSA at his school.

Many of our fair booth neighbors came by and introduced themselves before the crowds showed up. All were so kind and supportive.

We also gathered at least five new e-mail addresses to add to our main mailing list and some ten FIRED cards (an initiative spearheaded by Equality Ohio).

Overall, I think it was a great start to the fair week.